Mastering Positivity and Mindset with Dr. Paul Jenkins

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26 Min Read

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Last Updated: December 11, 2018
Summary:

Speaker 1: (00:02)

Bill, Can I help you?

Speaker2: Hey listen up, I’m bringing you the best content to ever exist in the door to door industry from sales leadership, recruiting, impersonal development.
Speaker 1:
Why would I need that?

Speaker 2:

Because never before have we been able to collaborate with the top experts in their industries, sharing their secrets and techniques and what makes them the best.

Speaker 1: Wait, who? Who are you?

Speaker 2:
I’m your host. Sam Taggart, creator of the DDD experts in Ddd con. Is there a place we can sit down?

Speaker 1:
We’ll come on him.

Speaker 3: Register today for D2DCon, learn from over 40 amazing speakers including the real wolf of Wall Street Jordan Belfort. Come as a team. Learn as a team. Leave as a tribe.

Speaker 2: (00:48)

Hey Everybody. This is Sam Taggart, your host with the D2D podcast, and I’m here with Dr. Paul Jenkins who is a clinical currently psychologist.

Speaker 4:

I’m still a psychologist.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I was like, you don’t just not become a psychologists yourself. All right. No. So he’s a, you know, by trade, a clinical psychologist and has now switched his practice into positivity psychology. Which is a interesting move and a lot of probably former psychologist might have shunned you or whatever. I mean it’s just untraditional, right?

Speaker 4:

Kind of left the tribe.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I was gonna say you, you, you, you’ve shifted. But the result has been wonderful. I’m assuming since that shift.

Speaker 4:

You know, it’s, it’s really fascinating to me how the principles of psychology can apply across the spectrum. Okay. So if you think of your mental health on a spectrum or a continuum, clear over on the left end is the sick and yeah, so that’s where you have diagnosis, pathology, treatment, all that fun stuff. I’m really more interested on the other end.
Speaker 2: (01:48)
Yeah, it’s not, yeah, exactly. Cause I think it’s, so, man, I would shoot myself if I was a psychologist because it’s like, Yup, come into my office, talk to me about all your problems.

Speaker 4:

I’ll try to figure out what’s wrong with you. Let’s keep talking about the wrong things. See that’s a pathology kind of a focus. I like that. And if, if we’re going to focus on the other end, I think it’s helpful to go to the middle of that spectrum first, which, which I label as health health meaning not sick. Yes. So you could be sick in bed with a fever thrown up. There comes a time when you can get out of bed and you’re not sick. Yes. But that doesn’t mean you’re truly fit, thriving, prospering. That’s over here at the other end of the spectrum.

Speaker 2: (02:30)

So that’s where we’re going to put our focus. Love it. And insurance companies won’t touch that. Yeah. Just cause they think it’s not medically necessary. Yeah. They’re not sick. So it’s interesting. And in, in, in, in this action, have a few questions on that whole balance and, and, and you’re maybe internal dilemma that probably happened at one point where you had to make this shift. But, um, yeah, no, for just my wheels are already spinning. You jumped the game going down. So those of you guys don’t know Jeff Fabian. Oh look, you’re just hopped on. He’s the one that connected us. So thanks to this week. So you’re, you’ve had a podcast, I think this is unique guys. He started a podcast in 2007. Yeah, I was like 17. I mean that was like you were in junior high stays. Yeah. That was like, she had a myspace page with your podcast and the CD and you are the former president of the National Speakers Association, this mountain west chapter, keynote speaker all over the world.

Speaker 2: (03:30)

Uh, I mean, how many speeches do you think you’ve given over your history of days? I’ve given a lot of speeches, breakouts, trainings. It’s, these principles are so empowering to people because we get stuck in our own head. Have you noticed this? Oh, that’s why I put, I mean it’s, it’s mental. The mental ability to control like what is in your head and unblock it and move things that aren’t supposed to be there in this power of the mind is what makes the difference between an Elon Musk and a, you know, a homeless person. You know what I mean? It’s just like they’re the same human being. We’ve got the same resources, we breathe the same. It’s the same as getting the exact same amount of time. It’s just what’s in your head that’s controlling how you think. And so I’m super excited to one dive into it with you on this podcast.

Speaker 2: (04:22)

But to see you at D2DCon, I mean I will say one of the, you know, your first day keynote speaker, you know, big stage, so honored to have you there. I mean believe that I when we met I was like, you need to speak and uh, you know what, I’m excited about your message because it’s applying these principles a little bit more geared towards, you know, this mental clarity and positivity but also into relationships and the importance of this mental balance and life balance around Sam. It’s your mind that controls everything. It’s running the show. Oh right. The thing is we don’t notice some of the processes that are going on in her mind. My job is to eliminate the obvious, which is really cool cause I get paid to tell people things they already know. But there’s obvious things that are completely unnoticed and in the processes of our mind, there’s a lot of things in that space.

Speaker 2: (05:18)

So one of those processes is called metacognition. And just over my head explain upwards in psychology, it makes us feel smart. Metacognition. Break that down. Cognition means thinking, okay, if we put that right here at this level, metacognition is a higher level to higher level thinking. It’s thinking about thinking, oh, okay, metacognition. You like the new one. People. There you go. So do you notice that you can do this? You can think about your own thinking. Yes, 100% but you didn’t notice that until I called it to your attention until you start thinking about it, right? Just to give, I think it’s like your shoes. Can you feel him? No. Until you think about it. You can. It’s obvious. Yeah, but you don’t think about it until it’s called your attention. Okay. So metacognition is the ability to think about your own thinking. When you turn that on, it creates a space.

Speaker 2: (06:14)

And in that space is where choice exists. Interesting. So I had the, I mean I’m going to point some, yeah. So we can use this as an example. This morning I hadn’t worked out in a long time because I’ve been traveling and this and that and I get up and I was like, I should probably work out and I work out my basement. And I just sat there and I was like, why am I having such a mental debate right now about if I should work out or not? And this is, this is sparking this thought process because it’s like I’m having this internal. And I was like, what is making me choose whether I work out or not instead of, you know what I mean? And it was like, it’s either I choose not to or choose to. And then I started thinking about my thinking and I started like, I started like reflecting and I was like, wow, why am I taking, why am I not wanting to take action?

Speaker 2: (07:03)

And in any way, this made me think of this because it was morning, I experienced the decision of choice and I did work out had sugar had gone to the metacognitive level, that place where you’re thinking about your thinking, you would have been stuck with the thought. Yes, I don’t want to work out exactly. Exactly. That’s what you would have done. Yes. Going to metacognition creates that space and then you get to have choice. That’s huge. Love that. That is huge because most people don’t realize they have some choice over how they feel and what they think and what they do. They live in circumstance, right. It’s like the world acts on them instead of them being an agent to act and to affect outcomes in their life. So in your, in your obviously years of experience and I mean you’ve worked with hundreds of individuals and groups and uh, you know, helped and seen it seen change and whatnot.

Speaker 2: (08:01)

I guess what, What have you noticed? Like say a client comes in and he’s like, hey doctor, help fix me. Right. And I’m assuming that’s the most people don’t even call you unless they feel like they have some kind of issue, I’m assuming. Right. Well that used to be more true than it has been lately because I’ve gone to the positive end of the spectrum. But I’m sure that’s how it started. But it’s still, it’s starts with this content. Yes. And this isn’t a bad thing. It’s actually the not happy with impetus for creation because inevitably if we didn’t, if we were always satisfied and content that we’d never take any choice to say, what do we need to do to improve, improve. Exactly. So you deal with these types of people. Um, and you know, from a leadership standpoint, essentially you’re influencing, you’re, you’re creating an impact.

Speaker 2: (08:44)

And in our space, we have a lot of situations and opportunity to influence, right. Where I have a rep come to me and he’s like, I just can’t figure this, this sucks. Or I, you know, I can, I need to quit or why can’t I, you know, whatever. I, I’m depressed and we deal with all these situations. And so we get almost by circumstance put in these situations of we have to be you, but we have never been trained to be you. It’s like let’s start metacognitive thinking and pull out some. Exactly. Let me play a psychiatrist here cause I felt like a sacker. There’ve been so many times I’m like husband, wife coming to my office. I’m like, okay, I gotta somehow counselor and I need, nobody taught me what I’m doing. So what have you noticed that you’ve done practices, things that you found useful to help the situation and see, you know, you’re like boom, let’s hit it head on and fix or not fix necessarily, but help people with change.

Speaker 2: (09:42)

You know the key, I think the starting place is what we’ve already talked about here. Raising the awareness of your own thinking. Start thinking about your thinking. Don’t just roll with what your program to do and notice that you’re programmed. So, but by being, by being president around where I have a per speaking English, why Graham to speak English? Did we decide to speak English? Did we choose to speak English? No, he’s just how we were programmed, programmed to speaking. It’s not the only language available. It’s true. It does mean a poon similar soil. Mexi at the amount of Ramadan was that finish? That’s, I mean I’ve been in three different languages in the last month and I’m like that’s not one of them. Yeah. I’m like, Oh what is that? Well there’s other languages available and even that, I mean if for you listeners, how many of us really noticed that we were speaking English here before I mentioned? Yeah, it’s just, it’s just in your, on your, your bio chemical. Like it’s like programs. So deprogrammed in now can you, can you change your programming?

Speaker 2: (10:56)

You know that you can learn another name? Yeah, you can learn it. I wonder that I was like I said a trick question cause it’s like I don’t reprogram myself but I can learn a new language, but my natural instinct would probably are still programming for English. Like scared me. I’d probably naturally are square and English. My natural. Yeah. My natural tendency probably still would be English because of your program. So notice that you have it. Now. Do you think you have programming around whether you’re positive or negative? Yeah. Is that the difference between a negative? Yeah, just think I think of negative people and positive people are programming different and you’re probably programmed, you come by it honestly, it was programmed into you usually at an early age. Do you think it’s like almost passed off through parenting teachers? Well this is how we get programmed.

Speaker 2: (11:50)

Yeah. I was like, how does that cause, how does one, how, how do I avoid programming my daughters to be negative? I’m, I’m naturally optimistic person on my wife, but she’s tends to be a little bit more pessimistic. So I’m always like, pave, don’t rub off on them over. But me, I mean there’s pros and cons of both, but I’m curious. I’m sure I need to be more talking. You can see how this is going to affect relationships too because how you, how you see yourself, how you treat your spouse, how you show up for your kids. All of those things are tied into your programming. So step number one is let’s become more aware, awareness of our own thinking. Let’s go to that metacognitive level and when we feel inclined to lash out in anger, for example, we’re able to create that small space.

Speaker 2: (12:43)

There’s now a second pause before you it and you’re like, I’m choosing to last night. Wait a minute. Versus I’m programmed to, why am I lashing out? See, now you’re questioning your own programming. Now beyond that, it gets kinda tricky. Yeah, I was going to say, now what? Well, so, okay. My twin sister turned 51 last year, so you’re close to her age and I decided when I turned 51 that I wanted to learn the guitar. Okay. Okay. And they’ve touched the guitar before in my life. I play the piano, I can sing a little bit. I’ve got some musical experience, never touched a guitar in my life. It’s a whole lot different animal from the piano. Yeah. Just saying, okay, so his guitar a choice. Yes. you’ve heard forever. Forever that happiness is a choice too. Yes. Right. And it is. And they both are. You can see with the guitar example, it’s not just the choice, it’s a skillset.

Speaker 2: (13:45)

It’s a muscle. It’s a muscle memory and practice. And there’s some programming that’s necessarily yes, but now I pick up, I played the guitar since I was nine. I picked it, I picked it up for the first time in a year, just barely, you know. Yeah. And my wife was like, wow, is that muscle memory? I’m like, it must have been because you know, I was put in a hard song and it just can we call it muscle memory? But it’s your brain. Yeah. That has stored all of that information and you and you’ve practiced it and you’ve programmed it. Yup. Okay. So once it’s programmed, it can roll fairly naturally for you. So how do you rewrite the program is probably what most people would then ask. Exactly. And, and let’s use guitars, the example. Okay. So let’s say you want to be more happy, you want to be more positive.

Speaker 2: (14:30)

First of all, you go to that metacognitive level so that you think about your thinking. And when we do door to door con in January, I’m going to share a quick model. Oh yeah, that’s cool. God, that’s the model. Oh my gosh. I mean it’s probably sitting right here. I’m going to give a little preview. I was going to say, I’ll give you guys a taste. You guys are going to get these adore to work on, but like this thing, if you’re online, you’re going to see it. If you’re listening to this. Sorry. Tough luck. But I mean it’s, it’s uh, yeah. Hey, we’ll share this with your wife. She needs us too. And so keep listening. Um, no, but yeah, I was going to say tag Katie in this. Somebody please Brent, help me out. Um, no, but this is cool. You guys are going to hear it.

Speaker 2: (15:09)

We’re not going to dive tons into this cause you’re going to save it for Ddd cone. But we start with that because that gives you the, the awareness, the metacognition. So you can think about your thinking. Then you’re in a position of choice. So let’s say that you want to be more positive. Okay. Legitimate choice. We can do that. Yeah. How’s it going to be done? When I signed up for Guitar, I hired an instructor. Okay. Coaches and instructors. Leaders. That’s why we have these people mentors. I practiced regularly. Okay, okay. You can’t just think, oh, I’m going to think more positively. You have to have a practice protocol in place where there’s repeated practice of a new pattern because we’re going to reprogram what we call in the industry and the neural pathway. Okay. It’s like cruise control or autopilot when I get on the wrong exit because I just am autopilot at home.

Speaker 2: (16:05)

Yeah. Yeah. So you’ve got all this autopilot going on. We’re going to intentionally create a more positive way of thinking and then practice that until you get good at it. Okay, so let me ask you this. I’m a manager. I’m optimistic. I’m trying to influence another person to keep practicing. Hey, let’s increase your positivity and this is, you know, it’s like, hey, you want to be successful, be more positive. Let’s just use positive for example. How can I help influence him to be more like, how do I keep him accountable to is practicing of this? It’s like, let me help you rewrite those neuropathways. Let me be your mentor. You know what happens? A lot of times we get into the should trap. Okay. Um, in psychology sometimes we say we’re shooting all over ourselves. Yes. I, I dunno if that’s okay for your audience, but it’s fun.

Speaker 2: (17:03)

I just the Jordan Belfort because I was like, okay, doctor, I’m fucked. Pretty mild. Um, but we get into this, this method of, Oh, I really have to, or I should or I must. And then we feel burdened and we’re overwhelmed and we get even more depressed because we should be more positive when we’re not, I mean, it’s goofy that we do that, but we do. Yeah. I had a client sitting right over there on the couch who said, so I guess I just really need to think differently. And I said, or not choose. Yeah. And he’s like, but I, but I want to, oh, well that’s different. I can behind that, see if people are doing it because they think they have to or they should. It’s a burden if it’s simply a choice. Yeah. Did you choose that or am I ever, am I imposing that on you?

Speaker 2: (18:01)

It’s like I can impose everything onto you. But until it’s tutor, you’re going to run into that. Yeah. They’re going to be looking at you like, oh, Sam wants me to whatever. As opposed to seeing, look, I can be more positive. I can be more negative. Which one serves me better? That’s like, you don’t have to do anything. He’s just, it’s just what do you want to choose? Right, and it’s not natural at first any more than playing the guitar is, yeah, so if you’ve been practicing being negative, guess what? You’re pretty good at and negative. Let’s take sales as an example for a minute because every salesperson knows this. They predict in their own mind what’s going to play out 100% don’t they? Yeah. You get this story, you get this prediction in your mind. Everyone mom telling me, no, I’ve gotten that. You were just like the last guy.

Speaker 2: (18:52)

I didn’t close him. I can’t hit my marks. I can’t hit my quotas. I’m not like that guy. He, he, I have a bad area going to be just like last month, whatever. They have these predictions. Now here’s a question. Do you know? Do you know what’s going to happen? No. You don’t know the future. Like Sam, how are you doing next week? Doing pretty good. Thank you. Predict you’ve got a story about that. And I love your positive side. I was going to say that better be positive. The you don’t know. You don’t know. So you’re making that up and that’s what I want people to see. You’re simply making it up. So we psych ourselves out about future things that potentially could never have. We don’t even know how you’re going to feel if you’re predicting or expecting anxious that everything is going to go wrong for you.

Speaker 2: (19:41)

Like you said, anxious, anxious, hopefully. Yes. And you nailed it. That’s what causes anxiety. And I’m talking from a clinical standpoint here. Yeah. Which I, it’s been wild. So my dad was mission president in New Jersey and one thing that like was the biggest challenge or the biggest wakeup call was what percentage of the people we managed. We’re had anxiety. You know what I mean? And I look at it like we hire a lot of people and you know, I watch people get, and I still get nervous sometimes because it’s that unknown of who that guy is going to get mad at me or what if I get the cops called on me. What if it’s this? What if like I don’t sell today and I look like an idiot or you know, cause we don’t, we don’t know. And I and I watch almost anxiety freeze or like paralyzed, paralyzed, paralyzed.

Speaker 2: (20:30)

It would be the right word. I’ve watched it, you know, I’m, I’m metacognitive thinking whatever the words are right now, they’re like, oh that makes sense now. You know what I mean? It’s making more, it’s gonna drive you nuts but it’ll help. Yeah, exactly. I mean but it’s, but it’s funny cause you say that because I mean I think anxiety in sales because it’s the unknown of what’s my paycheck. It’s not, I don’t have a known paycheck next week. I don’t have a known result next week. I don’t have a known anything. It’s like I could make no money if I didn’t perform. You know what I mean? There’s a lot of unknown and I think that’s what creates this. You know what? Here’s, here’s the kicker too. You don’t know but you’ve got something to do with it. Yes, and the way you predict that changes the energy about how you approached the creation task.

Speaker 2: (21:18)

Yes, and creation is part of that model that we were showing people just a minute ago cause it could go the opposite way in the sense of a lot of people play victim of like, I don’t have control over it. I watch reps that say, you know what I mean? I have leaders, reps, people I’ve coached and worked with that. It’s like, well hopefully I get to sale. I’m like, what do you mean to hope you guys tune into your creative power for just a minute. It’s like what if? What if we just gave everybody who’s live here on the, or anybody who’s listening to it at any particular time. Here’s the assignment. It’s 15 minutes. You can do this. Okay, 15 minutes starting. When I say go push pause or whatever and go somehow make your life worse. Could you do that in 15 minutes? Yeah. Fast. Would you do that?

Speaker 2: (22:10)

No. No, no, no. That’s funny that, yeah. Okay. Do you see how confident you are? Look how quickly your mind can come up with half a dozen ways to pull that off fast and it’s not going to take 15 minutes. Yeah. In twos, two text messages could boom. Yeah. Tune in to that. You’ve got the power to create something. Okay. You’ve got something to do with it. Here we are predicting all these terrible things. Well, we’ve got the ability to create that and if you focus on that, that’s what will happen. That’s the blueprint. You’re giving your powerful mind to go create something. Amen. Nugget. Thumbs up. Everybody on his tweet out, we, yeah. I’m like, yeah. Pure gold. Exactly. It’s like Chandler gets it. Now here’s the thing. We’re sitting here in my office right now. Do you notice that the lights are on? Yeah. If I cut the power, what’s going to happen?

Speaker 2: (23:03)

The lights would go off and it will get dark. Darker. Yes. It never gets lighter when you cut the power. Okay, got it. Yep. If you park your car on a hill and leave the break cuff, which direction does it roll down? Hill default is down. So the natural default of our brains typically, or program to just go down. Now the world, the environment, the culture, everything is going to pull us down is not up. Elevation requires effort. Okay. So when you start to predict all these negative things, you don’t even have to give it a whole lot of effort to make that happen. It’s a good point. It just naturally will start to go down. Now is it harder to think about positive things happening to you and be have to be? Yes, it is. It is. It is. You have to, it’s, it’s like that phrase of like there’s more muscles it takes to smile and frown or you know what I mean?

Speaker 2: (24:02)

There’s that same when when I said the fault is down, this is true. Psychologically. Why were we wired that way? Like I don’t think it’s that we’re wired that way. I think it’s a natural law. I think it’s like gravity. It is a, it’s like a gravity and gravity thing. You never fall up. So here’s what I’m going to debate that. So, so that’s how the laws of thermodynamics. So you’re saying that’s a natural law. I’m like, can you debunk that? Let’s say I took my daughter and I said I will shelter you to the Max and be like the most positive opposite. Like I will feed you full of rainbows and Unicorns until you’re 18 and then you can come out of the hole. Then she will have no adversity to teach her what she needs to know. I’m just wondering. But if they’re a natural, I know, I know, I know.

Speaker 2: (24:49)

But that would be the worst thing in the plan. I’m just saying from an extreme for her to rainbows and butterflies. It’s it. So I’m wondering though is her name, is she still naturally wired negative or like from the, I’m not saying that we are wired naturally for negativity. I’m saying that default is down. Yes. Okay. Without intentional effort, we don’t achieve elevation. Yeah, I would. I would agree. I’m just saying that’s sad that we are like that. I think. I think that people, I think human beings are naturally positive creatures. I think that’s what we resonate with the most because I believe that our whole purpose and now we’re getting philosophical. Okay, I love it. I believe that our whole purpose is joy. Okay. That simple little three letter word and we describe it in different ways. Success, wealth, prosperity, happiness, aren’t those all descriptors of joy.

Speaker 2: (25:51)

Now to achieve joy is a whole lot easier than people think. Actually, I’m going to say that it’s simple and simple and easy are not the same thing. Okay? Because there are principles that support joy. One of those is work. Work is a go to physics for a minute cause I’m talking natural laws here. Yeah, matter can’t be created or destroyed. It only changes form the physical process by which matter changes form is work. Okay? That’s the force or the definition of of how, how physical matter changes for so same thing from negative negativity to positivity. It’s a work pre process, right? It’s not that anything’s, there’s no chemicals in your brain, your brain. I thought that’s a thought that’s changing its form, right? To be a different thought. Pardon me, is almost like that’s almost a lesson in perspective too. Oh, per se. Because it’s all perspective.

Speaker 2: (26:54)

The thought is a thought. It doesn’t necessarily reform it’s situations, the situation, it’s what’s perspective of that situation is almost kind of what I’m yeah, like you said and it’s, and it’s also work to take a proactive approach. Like you said, it’s, it takes effort to elevate. I love that. Right. And, and don’t feel bad about that when, when my clients tell me, Oh this is hard, I’m like awesome, great. That means we’re on the right track. Yeah. Cause it’s taking work. If you want easy, just let your car rolled down hill. Just let, is this true in your health? If you let go of your diet, your exercise plan, which direction is your health? Go down, down. Can you make it go up? Yes. You can. By choice. By choice in effort and intention. So how does what I call living on purpose. So how do you like snap out of it?

Speaker 2: (27:49)

I mean like it just comes back to the awareness. It’s like, how do you become that start? It starts with awareness, Sam, until you see it as a choice. It’s not, yeah. And I think that’s where people get trapped. That’s what I was gonna say. I’ve, I’ve literally worked with people that don’t want to see it as a choice. It’s almost like that the, the, oh, it’s very convenient. It’s been laid to blame. That’s what I was gonna say. People want culture, the market, the economy. Yeah. I’m like, I’m almost like that would, could person who abused me when I was a kid. I’ve, I’m like looking internally and I’m like, oh, I do that. Like, you know what I mean? I’m almost all, do we all, we all want to make ourselves feel good because it’s almost like creating a false sense of positivity by saying we have no choice.

Speaker 2: (28:32)

Because then we feel more at ease and comfort versus change and result. And we re we prefer the predictability of our misery and our programmed to the terror of actually creating the upgrade in our life. Yes. Okay. So moving on this, this is interesting. Okay. So we only have like one or wow. Time has gone moving. Uh, so if you’re listening, we’re still here. Oh well they are loving this. We’ve had a lot of people on here. So if you’re listening to this and I have gotten any nuggets, I wonder if there’s an a nugget emoji. Give it a nugget Emoji. I don’t even have there is, I think it’s a little brown pile. The brown pile. We’ll call those nuggets. Those are the nuggets there. The brown nuggets. Leave us a nugget. That’s a nugget. No, but I, uh, this has been so interesting.

Speaker 2: (29:22)

I have a couple of weird other questions. Um, advice or habit. Like you said, it’s this consistency rewiring. Is there any best practices that you’d give a sales rep, a husband and a business owner? You know, it’s all kind of relevant to kind of practice this whole effort equals elevate or positivity hack, or is there any like a routine or hack or that you’re like, this helps me get into positivity mode, so there’s not some magic, no secret sauce. Just quickly just do this and then your whole life is positive. Oh really? It’s not like the pill is okay. So it’s simple. It’s simple, but simple. Uneasy or not the same thing. Think of it more like learning a language or learning a new instrument. Okay. You’re going to want some support, some mentor or coach or guide. It’s so funny. I mean, I’ve literally, I have mentors, a lot of them.

Speaker 2: (30:22)

And it’s so funny. We, I actually sell coaching and consulting and you know, and I mentor people and I’m like, do I make the best mentor? I don’t know, but at least you have one. You know what I mean? I’m on. There’s a difference between a coach and a mentor because a mentor has been there. A coach can help you see how to get there, whether he’s been there and not love it. So I, so I think it, yeah, I look back and I’m like, there’s no way I’d be where I’m at without proper coaches, leaders, people I’ve played, not paid. Just, I hired a new one last month. Yeah, it’s a, yeah. And he’s a doctor. Psychologist has a podcast, speaks all over the world. Oh wait, you have a coach, you know what I mean? And it’s like, no, I have multiple coaches. Yes.

Speaker 2: (31:06)

So important though. You yes, I literally have paid right now I think I’m paying three. Yeah. And it’s like what? It’s funny because you don’t have many people or the people that don’t have coaches or the people that probably need them. You know what I mean? It’s everybody needs, okay, we all need them. Tiger Woods needs a coach. That’s the exam. Lebron James needs a coach. But why? Why is it that so many people are so anti investing in themselves? Like you don’t, I mean people probably are listening to this or you know, or like I look at door to door con. I had a guy the other day telling me this, he goes, why would I need to go to that? Like what? Like there’s nothing more relevant in this entire industry than paying 199 bucks to go to the three day event that literally trained you exact tell you what that is.

Speaker 2: (31:53)

Dirt cheap. I know. I was like, it’s $199 he’s like, I can, I can’t afford it. This is what he said. I’ve seen your lineup. It’s insane. The people who are going to be on main stage there, I’m not talking about me. I’m going to bring as much value as I can and it’s insane. This is an event. Seriously, this is worth thousands of dollars. I literally was like, I think I, I was, the lineup is worth thousands and it’s just funny though how I can’t even afford all the speakers. I couldn’t afford him. He just jumped. He helped me out in life capital. I’m, I’m publicly just pulling on some heartstrings here. I don’t know how long that’ll last, but the thing is you guys, Sam has some relationship capital and that is worth something. Appreciate it. And as you go out, you share this with other people.

Speaker 2: (32:40)

It’s going to create some massive value. This is crazy, but it’s so interesting. Even this podcast, it’s like I haven’t looked at coaching or mentors, like the amount of books reading the, you know, the, the podcasts, the consumption of knowledge, which is I’d say coaching and in, in, you know, experts here and then podcasts and books and then me just sitting there doing nothing. You know what I mean? But it’s, it’s still though, like I think a lot of people just think that their life’s going to have an upgrade with no effort. You know what I mean? Or no investment? No. Well, you’ve heard the old adage that you get what you pay for and a lot of people think that this should be free. Really? Yeah. You can pay pal,

Speaker 3: (33:24)

Venmo us. If you’re listening to this, we’re going to charge you for the podcast real quick. It shouldn’t be free. We’re doing this because we’re having fun. We figured we do share it with you guys.

Speaker 2: (33:37)

But, um, that, that idea that you hit on just a few minutes ago that you invest in your most valuable asset. You put something into this and you put some energy there and you get coaches and you get mentors and you get instructors and people who can help you to see what you don’t see. And it’s not because you’re ignorant or stupid, it’s because you don’t see what you don’t see. And even the fact that, you know, I pointed out that we’re speaking English, that’s totally obvious to you, but you didn’t notice it until I called it to your attention. So your coaches will help you to have a level of accountability, a level of perspective, a level of insight that you just would not have inside your own head. One of my mentors told me this, or it said it this way, he said, it’s like we’re all living inside of a box and everything that we experience is projected on the inside of our box.

Speaker 2: (34:38)

Well, there’s instructions for getting out of your box, but they’re printed on the outside of your box. Interesting. So you hire a coach to read the box to you? Yeah. It’s like here where you read what’s on the other wall. Can you tell me what I’m not seeing? Yeah. And when you see that, when you find that out, it changes the outcomes. It changes everything because now you’re not trapped inside of your own mind, in your own skin. You’re tapping into the collective wisdom of, and your coaches didn’t get this themselves. They’re just there because you guys look to Sam as a coach and you consider how many coaches and mentors he’s had and can copy and paste and figured it out and time. And Bob proctor said it this way, he said, I love to brag about my stuff because none of it’s mine.

Speaker 2: (35:31)
It’s so true. It’s like, right. It’s like, I’m like, I wonder where this started. It’s just been passed on. You mean you don’t have to go out there and reinvent the wheel for yourself? You want to be successful? Tap in, tap into that community, turn on, engage, get involved there and realize it’s gonna take some work. Well, that’s good news because to go from wherever we are to a higher level, elevation requires effort and light requires power. Darkness, default. That’s all down hill. Okay. So I love that. So the biggest first advice you give is just get outside of yourself and have somebody help you read the outside of the box. Turn your brain on first. Yeah. Awareness. Get into metacognition, turn on your brain, start thinking, oh, a lot of people, their their mind is, is busy, but they’re not thinking they’re rehashing the same old stories that they’ve always told.

Speaker 2: (36:32)

That’s not thinking, that’s program depression. Yeah. That’s just like repetition. That’s sucks. If better just lay down in fetal position, turn your brain on. That means get the metacognition going, get that engaged. And then you engage with mentors, coaches, people who can show you what you don’t see. And that requires humility because you have to be willing to say, you know, I don’t know everything. Yeah. And we all have enough destructive pride to know that we’re right now, I think, uh, I heard a quote the other day, it’s like the four most destructive words are, I already know that. Oh yeah. I love that. I was just like, oh yeah, that’s a good point. That will kick your butt. I mean, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that if you keep doing what you’ve been doing, you’re going to get the same results you’ve been getting.

Speaker 2: (37:25)

Yeah. And I think Albert Einstein said you cannot solve a problem with the same level of thinking that got you into that problem in the first place. And I get so, so we, we turn our brain on, we engage with, with people who can actually help us to get there and we associate, this is why door to door Khan is such a big deal. You come together with other people to see that you’re not alone in this. Yep. To see that there are ideas that are already being successfully implemented that you could call to. It’s like just do what he did. Yeah. And for a couple of hundred bucks, is that all you’re charging? It’s crazy. It’s so funny cause people are like, that’s a lot. I’m like, I think the problem is there’s not a lot, the industry is, people are used to getting it for free because their company does some training.

Speaker 2: (38:15)
And I’m like, well, I had a company training and I’m like, this isn’t a company training. This is a, this is a level that has never been. Honestly, the last conference that I attended that was at this level, the Co, the caliber of speakers you’re bringing in, the level of, of content that you’re exposing to your audience. I paid 2,500 bucks for, no, I think it’s funny. I was like, why are we only charging this? Well, prices go up tomorrow, so if you don’t go get your ticket today, it’s now it’s going to be 250 bucks. I was like, I didn’t even, yeah, this is all like ad Lib, but I would just letting you know it. They do go up tomorrow if you’re on live, if you’re listening to this podcast, you missed it. Sorry. That’s so powerful. One of the reasons that you want to do this is because it’s going to require some consistent practice and the accountability and the followup, so you look at what you’re consuming on a daily basis.

Speaker 2: (39:10)
For example, if you’re not listening to or watching positive, uplifting building content more than you’re listening to or watching negative downer kind of content, then we’re going in the wrong direction and you get to choose. You don’t have to listen to the radio anymore. You got podcasts. Yeah. This is on demand. You select the content that serves you the best. Whenever I turned on the radio, like I hop in my truck to head home, I turn on the radio and the news is on and it’s always negative. A downer. Yeah, that’s, that’s so annoying. I don’t know why. This is a positivity news channel. We’re doing these podcasts. I’m doing a youtube channel where, yeah, go check out his youtube. Uh, what does he call it? The live on TV live on people. He has a news channel or not a new podcast, a youtube channel, a Facebook, you know.

Speaker 2: (40:07)

Um, and that’s why I’m doing it Santa, because we’ve got to get more content out there that allows people to actually practice thinking positively. Love it. That’s what’s gonna save us. Well, I think you got, you guys heard it best. I mean this has been nugget upon nugget. So if you’re watching this and got a nugget, this is, I’m kind of like I need to go rewatch this and tag my wife and it somebody, nobody ever tagged my wife. Um, it’s so I dude, I appreciate your time. This is fun and I’m excited at one. Need to know you a little bit more at the conference and we’re about to do our podcast flip flop. I get it. I to be on his podcast, doesn’t even cooler. Um, but no, this has been, this has been, this has been honestly like a an honor and appreciate your time.

Speaker 2: (40:49)

I’m honored to be here Sam. Yeah. So honored to be on your team. Thanks man. No, it’s, it’s been fun. So any other last minute advice that you’re like to the door nor space, you know you have the complete audience. Like is there anything else that you’d be like, Hey last minute I’m going to say exactly what I told that client cause you might be thinking, you know what, I just really need to think more positively or not who I loved that or not. Cause if you phrase it that way, exactly. Take 15 minutes to just ruin your life. Can you think of something that is told? They love it. Yeah. It’s an odd, it’s or not. Or take 15 minutes or let’s glue on purpose. Yeah. Live on people. That’s what it’s all about. It means you have a purpose and you do it intentionally. I love it. Okay, well much love.

Speaker 4: (41:34)

You guys are awesome. Share this. Love it.

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