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Sam Taggart 00:20

Hi, everybody, my name is Sam Taggart, and this is the D2D podcast. And on last episode, we talked about the knock life and the book that I’m working on. And we talked about, really this knock principle. So it’s asking you shall receive, seek and you shall find knock, and it shall be opened unto you. And, you know, big principle of knock that we talked about last time was really just those that, you know, make time halftime, those that invest money, make money, and those that act now get now and you know, there’s an element of this law of reflection is what I call it. And last year door door kind of talked about the boomerang effect. And then we also went through like how everything you need buys behind the door.

But this podcast, I’m going to kind of keep going with this chapter. And really talk about emotional resilience. And emotional resilience is is a key component to being a good knocker, like being somebody that is able to stand in the trenches and get knocked down and, and still get back up again. And so if you’re listening this podcast, and you know, somebody that is struggling with, you know, depression or not getting out there and grinding or they’re in a slump, or they’re just kind of emotionally soft, like, maybe this is a podcast for them, you could share this with them. Maybe this is for you. You know, we all kind of give ourselves like a score of like, Oh, I’m emotional, resilient, I can handle hard things. And it’s like, I think there’s a level like I think I’m kind of a wind but a lot of times if you got me on like an MMA fight, emotionally, I would break down like I’m kind of a whim. But you know, in this in this podcast, we’re going to talk about kind of some some things of suffering some some some darker things that hopefully help you see that part of the suffering part of the hardship part of the challenge is the emotional resilience side.

So there’s a part in the book by Glennon Doyle. I don’t know if you’ve heard of untamed but it’s a female empowerment book, but I loved it. And she says, like Jesus, who walked straight towards his own crucifixion, first the pain than the waiting than the rising. All of our sufferings come when we try to get our resurrection without allowing ourselves to be crucified first. And it kind of goes back to this whole No pain, no gain mentality. And, you know, you think of like that element of suffering. And you know, Christ could have been like, Alright, just crucify me. And it’s like, no, he was like, I’m gonna carry the cross, I’m gonna get width, I’m gonna put a thorny crown on my head, I’m going to let you guys mark and spit on me and tell me how much of a crazy lunatic I am. And, you know, it’s like that was all part of this whole, like, nomina resurrect and be like, Look, look who I am. And you got to look at this, like almost like a phoenix, a Phoenix is something that, you know, the way they literally kill themselves, and they burn and then they rebirth out of the ashes.

And the suffering, it would take, you know, like for a butterfly to break down its exoskeleton, and literally go into a cocoon and decompose itself to then, you know, a caterpillar to turn into a butterfly. And the suffering, the pain that it takes to go have these transformations is part of the process. And a lot of times when we think of emotional resilience, it’s just that ability to endure that suffering. And so there’s a book that I started not too long ago, it’s called the power of it’s called anti fragility. And it says some things benefit from shock. They thrive and grow and expose to volatility, randomness, disorder, and stressors and love and venture risk. uncertainty. In spite of the ubiquity of the phenomenon. There’s no word for the exact opposite of fragile. So let us call it anti fragile. Anti fragility is beyond resilience or robustness. The resilient resists shock and stays the same, the anti fragile, gets better. And you think about it, like humans are one of the few things that when they’re under pressure, and shock and craziness, get stronger. Think of lifting weights, you put yourself under stress, your muscles get stronger, and there’s really not a word so anti fragile is the word that this guy Nassim to lab came up with and you think of like, elements of our lives and growth, and it’s like had we not had Are these stressful hardships, we would not be where we’re at today. And so the coolest part of every story is the emotional resilience element. It’s like the guy went and despite how many times he got knocked down, got up, and he succeeded. And that’s what makes a really compelling Hollywood production book, novel, motivational person is it’s they, they suffered through some, some hardship. And, you know, humans are really built to be anti fragile.

And so we look at emotional resilience as a gift as a, as a joy as a, let’s be grateful for this. And if we don’t, we’re just literally almost like slapping God in the face and being like, Hey, you built us wrong. Like everyone has it differently. And I hate when people look at other people’s hardships and say, oh, they’ve got it easy, if only they knew what I had to go through, to get to where I’m at. And a lot of times we fail to recognize everyone is meant to go on their own journey. And some of you guys have gone through some real struggles, loss of parents, you know, maybe had abusive relationships, sicknesses, health problems, and, and I go, that’s your, that’s your story that you get to go through. And you’re so blessed to have such crazy hardship. And some people, they, you know, that looks on the outside that they went super easy, but maybe they deal with mental issues, eating disorders, depression, anxiety, crazy fear of everything, you know, and on the outside, you’re like, Well, you’ve never lost a loved one, or you’ve never had to go through bankruptcy or whatever.

And it’s like, Yeah, but okay, would you rather have a billion dollars and be depressed? Or would you rather be broke and be happy, like maybe that problems a self image, maybe it’s an insecurity, and it’s who’s, who’s places it to judge when dealing with that kind of stuff, like, and that’s where I tell people I’m like, everyone’s story is their story for a reason. And when you’re dealing with, like, hardships and the craziness in life, realize that that’s where you need to be. And you need to sit in that and you need to enjoy it, and you need to embrace it. And you need to say, in two years, and six months, in three days, I’m gonna look back on this and be like, this is what made me the character that I am today. So there’s a quote by Ryan Holiday, it says, If perception and action are disciplines of the mind, that will, is the discipline of the heart and the soul. So find your will. And that’s going to be one of the things that’s going to take you farther in in hardship is really kind of what’s the will inside of me. And that’s where I think people struggle, if they don’t have strong will, like their natural will. And when we’re talking about knocking, it’s like, if you’re really want something, you’re gonna go knock hard enough in order to go get it. Despite the thoughts, the feelings, the emotions, the all the emotional element is that stopping or getting in your way of will? Meaning just do it or not do it? So the first tip on being emotional resilient,

I’m going to go through a few tips is practice object of objectivity. So you have to ask yourself, okay, this happened equals objective, is this good or bad? That’s subjective. So, you know, it’s the perceiving eye, that’s weak, and it’s the observing eye that strong. So if we say, Okay, my perceiving eye says, This is bad. It’s like, well, that’s just your perception. Because if you took another lens, or you took another viewpoint, or you saw yourself in three years and look back, it might not be bad. That’s all subjective to what your opinion is. And so if you take it as an observing, I take a second say, okay, what’s happening to me, like, I’m getting rejected, I’m getting a lot of nose, I haven’t made money in a week, like whatever that problem that you’re running into is, and you saw it from an observing eye and saying, okay, that’s what’s happened. And that’s what is, now I get to then make some decisions based on facts, not based on how I’m feeling. And so there’s a epor, Tito said, Don’t let force of impression when it first hits you knock you off your feet. Just say, just say to hold on a minute. Let me see who you are, and what you represent. And let me put you to the test. And I love that quote. And then Warren Buffett said, you will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. The true power is sitting back and observing things with logic. true power is restraint. If words control you That means everyone else can control you breathe and allow things to pass. And so this came from one of the richest men in the world. And it’s like the ability to breathe, pause, let things come to pass and not allow other things. wants to control you, that is the power of practicing objectivity. So it’s time to really check in with every event mishap situation and result in saying, okay, am I am I letting myself be fragile?

Or am I letting myself in? Do I get to be anti fragile in this moment? Tip number two is train your response system. It takes intentional practice to train your amygdala to how to respond with what you want. So the amygdala is that core neural system that processes threats, right. So it’s either fight flight or freeze. And your what’s interesting is, it’s actually two times faster than your neocortex. And so the military trains your your amygdala, or like, you take like Alex, the guy that did the free solo and climbed El Capitan, they literally did studies and CAT scans of his amygdala. And they said it was black, because he had trained as amygdala so much not to fight flight, or freeze and just to do the action, climb the wall, despite there not being any ropes, and free climbing El Capitan.

So the military transit soldiers, because they’re like they’re in a firefight, and they’ve got bad guys coming at him. If they just freeze or fly, then the whole troops gonna die. And so they need to test people’s amygdala strength and saying, Wow, can you control this lizard brain is what they call it, and really take action based out of objectivity. And so basically, when they do these drills, so they do, they do a thing called the pool comp. And if you study like naval SEAL training, they drop, these dudes are women in underwater and they practice holding their breath, and then they practice like the scuba tank, and then that will come over your back and rip off your mask and start fighting you. So you’re freaking out, like, I don’t have oxygen, I’ve been holding my breath for X amount of time. And 90, they actually do it to where you pass out. And when you’re underground, and you go all the way until you pass out, or you’re underwater. That’s a scary feeling. because your body is like, I’m gonna die. I just died, I went all the way till passing out. And you at that point, you think you’ve died, and then they’ll come revive you.

And it’s a really scary, I’m assuming if I was in that situation, I that’s the question of how emotionally resilient would I be? Would I be able to withstand my mind telling my body it’s going to die? Or saying no, my body’s not going to die, my mind is trained to tell it, it’s going to die, and allow him to trust this whole drill. And that’s how they weed out a lot of people in the SEAL training. And you know, I think life weed you out a lot like that. I think life is saying, okay, your minds gonna say alert, alert, alert. This is crazy. Things are bad. But your body is going to either than act or not act, it’s going to sit and fight or flight or run, and your body is going to make decisions. Because if I go out knock, and I go continue to do the work, despite my emotional feelings, then I’ve now kind of separated that whole lizard brain and reactive system to just what’s happening, what is objective it? Yeah, you felt like you worked all week because you were scared of work. But you truly only worked five hours. And it’s like, that’s not that like what is objective as you worked five hours, but what is subjective as you feel like you worked the whole week. And we see this all the time when I coach or consult or train people. Now the third tip is don’t get stuck in what we call learned helplessness. And basically, and the book by Brian McCowan, I forget was called essentialism, he talks about he says the ability to choose cannot be taken away or even given away, it can only be forgotten. And so often we forget that we choose our results. And when later they did a study on these dogs, and they put them in these shock systems, and they said, Okay, if you press this button, so they drop them in a system, and that’s shocking. And then the dog would press the button and return the shock off. Well, then another dog, they’d say, okay, you press the button, and it would not turn the shock off. And so he just stopped pressing the button. So then they would, they would say, okay, cool, they would do these tests.

And they’d say, Okay, if we then put the button to where it would turn the shark off with the dog, try again, and see if it would turn the shark off. And and they would say, just press the button. And it’s like now, because they’ve already learned that the button doesn’t do anything for him. And so in life, we get these sequences of, you know, nose and sequences of losses that then we think that they all loop in the next door or the next opportunity in life is going to be a no, because the last five or knows, but we have to look at opportunities as mutually exclusive. We have to look at doors as each door is a different door. But if we lump them all together and said this whole neighborhood has shot, or we lump opportunity, oh, well, I’ve tried sales. I’m not a salesperson. You’re like Well, no, you just had a few opportunities that you missed. And now You get to choose what the next one looks like. But you’ve just made a blanket statement to say all of these are shot. And I’m just not this. And now you’re labeling, which is a terrible trap to get into. And so we create these neural pathways in our brain, to where it’s almost like a wagon going in a muddy trail. And it just creates a deeper and deeper, deeper rut. That doesn’t necessarily mean is true, it just means we’re stuck in that rut. And so basically, if we can practice objectivity and saying each door is a new door, each opportunity each each pass as a new pass, each shot is a new opportunity to go in.

So like I can’t make the shots. So caution, I’d fall into this trap because the practice power of first impressions and every opportunity new one, we we get to, to eliminate this blanket statements of I’m always I’m nobody, nobody never. Like everyone, those kind of language patterns can be a very big trap. And so be super intentional with your word choice, or else you’re gonna you’re just shooting yourself in the foot. And it’s not, it’s not good. So number four, is focus. So, tip number four being focused, I believe emotional, resilient, people have an extreme ability to focus hard. Emotional resilience is this kind of proactive thought, meaning I’m cognitively thinking meaning thinking about thinking. And when I can think about thinking, meaning I’m aware and focused on what I’m doing, instead of multitasking instead of kind of just like, oh, what, and 20 minutes later, you’re like, I just spent 20 minutes on Instagram. And I totally didn’t realize, you know, that that ability to just let time pass you by let opportunities pass you by because of your inability to be present and focused. Is is a is a key component to failure. So when you have the ability to visualize your future, walk through positive stitch solution step by step. It’s this mental rehearsal is what they call it. So Red Bull athletes, you know that I’m Shaun White, I’m sitting up in front of my run, right? And I’m like, Okay, I’m on a halfpipe run. I’m literally like visual, like this mental rehearsal and focus is saying, Okay, I’m gonna drop in here, I’m going about this fast. And on my first up, I’m going to do my double, you know, my, my 1080, or whatever the trick is, and then I’m going to do a cat this and, you know, so they’re literally watching the run of their eight tricks they’re going to do on the halfpipe, before it happens. And I can’t turn my body like this when I do this. And it’s the ability to for these athletes to do this mental rehearsal is critical for their ability to go out and actually make it happen. So interesting. It was interesting to see how fragile our focus can be, how we can be so focused on the right things one moment and completely lose it in the next. It takes work to get in the right mindset, but it takes work to maintain it as well. I wouldn’t say it’s hard to achieve and maintain a fearless mind. But it does require constant attention to the reality of the moment by Craig Manning, and he wrote the book the fearless mind. So I love this quote, it says a knight doesn’t need to be told how many arrows are in his quiver. You know, a good marksman or a good cop is like I fired off six shots, I know how many this holds.

And if we do in practice, the same thing it’s like a a player in sales or business in any performance is going to know the surroundings, they know the objections that are going to be coming up, they know the pricing, they know the packaging, they know the script, they know the opportunity that sits in front of them and they’re so dialed just like an athlete, just like a cop, or or a fighter, you know, they are so focused and so aware of their surroundings, that they don’t fail to have this kind of distract distraction from the outside world. And so to avoid that, there’s a common practice it’s kind of a buzzword today called dopamine fast. And a web fast is when you stop using social media, sex, drugs, maybe even numbing like that anything that numbs you out or distracts you notifications a lot of times relationships I there’s there’s doby facet like you You are distracted by your significant other because you’re so in entangled into that world where you fail to jump out of that world in the business world and say boom, I’ve got to do X because it’s easier for them to pull you back into their stuff which isn’t bad you control for them but it’s really hard to say I have my stuff I need to do employees suck you out.

So emotional resilient people if you think about it, they have this ability to put boundaries around them to not get sucked into the notification world or the numbing out world or the everyone saying I got a minute so I for the last five years have set my son on fire phone on silent you won’t ever hear my phone Ring. And I found this is a huge hack. And so I want to I want to give some other hacks on kind of eliminating this distraction or this outside pole to deviate your focus. Because emotion resilient people, they’re, they’re focused. So you know, check emails wanted to check social media maybe maximum twice it in the morning and evening. You don’t have to always reply to dm or comment right away, don’t scroll through media while you’re in the grind, like, don’t be like, oh, cool, I just been washed a bunch of funny animal videos or whatever you watch. Limit your TV and Netflix like I just made it a priority to not to have to get into like crazy binge media things. And when people were like God, you see that game or thrones episode, I’m like, nope, everything Game of Thrones. So you know, it’s not that it’s bad, it’s maybe it’s something that you enjoy, it’s just limited. Don’t just be like, Oh, I spent like frickin five hours bingeing on this message. And anyway, so then you have don’t get lost in emails. So a lot of times you get sucked into the junk mails, and so crumbling of the system to not have to open up every single your emails, just deleting like 90% of them, and only going to the important ones. And doing that once a day. tell people when you’re available to drop in. So a lot of times, you have employees, teams, family, whatever. And they’re always coming to you for your attention. And it’s not their fault that they don’t know when you’re available. And when you’re not. So just be like, hey, the best time to contact me is like between eight o’clock at 9am or six and 5pm. Like whatever that time is for you. And then be like other than that, don’t expect me to reply, just Just so you know, I’m not trying to be rude. I’m just in my zone. And if you called LeBron James, while he’s in the middle of playing basketball, he’s trying to get back to you.

And I’m in the middle of playing my game. So it’s important that you know that I’m committed to my mission. And I appreciate your you and your time. But these are the times that I’m available. So don’t be afraid to like schedule calls back like, like, two, three weeks. So a lot of times we were like, Hey, can I get a meeting with you? And I’m like, yeah, I’m available in a month. And they’re like, oh, Mike, and if it’s really important to you, you’ll probably hit me up in a month. Because it’s my way of saying, This is not important to me, it’s important to you. So show me that it’s important to you, and I’ll take your time, but it’s in a month. And you know, the other thing on that is like fires, you know, a lot of times reps will call you or, you know, somebody calls you oh my gosh, I have this problem, this customer and they did it, they did it. And you’re just like, I have to drop everything in my life. And I have to fix this fire right now. Versus Hey, it can wait till Monday, they can wait till tomorrow, they can wait two, three days. And it’s nobody is going to die and practicing have awareness of Wow, this triggered an emotion because it may be a bad thing. But it didn’t necessarily change my actions it I get to control my actions. So you know, another one is don’t be sucked into the garden minute. So like when you’re in an office scenario, and, or business, whatever. And you’ve got employees that just always are not going to adore it. And this is like one of my biggest problems like I don’t I like to work at home a lot of times because I’m in the office, everybody wants my time. And so death by God minutes, those minutes turn into 30 minutes, and those 30 minutes turn into five of those a day. And then by the end of the day, you’re like, Wow, now I have to work on my stuff that I was choosing to work on today, at 789 o’clock at night because I’m the business owner and I’ve got to get things done. And they don’t see that they think whatever they’re working on is highest priority. And it is important that you get engaged with your employees, it’s just scheduling time showing them how to properly bring things to you. You know, allowing and empowering them delegating training, things like that. It’s gonna help you. So other one is like telemarketers, like I don’t answer calls to people, I don’t know.

So I just I’m like if it’s an importantly voicemail, or if it’s not important, you probably text me and if you’re a frickin auto dialer, you’re not going to text me so I’m happy. So like, are you time, there’s a big one. So a lot of times, you know, the keen focus is you have to say, Okay, I can time block my focus and creator time, so there’s greater and make your time. And then there’s busy time. That’s when you’re working on emails, fires, things like that. But it’s like my mornings like I don’t show up to the office till nine because I’m working usually from like eight to nine on me time maker time, writer time, podcast time time for me to say, I enjoy getting this kind of stuff done. And then I’ll jump into the craziness that sometimes she’ll but 11 of my employees were like, hey, how come you came on late today? I was like, do you think I wasn’t working? And I know, we know you work hard. Okay, we’ll shut up. I was like, yeah, questions are you working? And I just found that having my time is so critical. And it helps us balance mental mental element because like a lot of times, you know, you mentally get drained and you mentally kind of feel exhausted when everybody’s taking your time you don’t get your time and a lot of time is you know, create alone time and create relationship time and focus on the relationships that matter most.

So when I think of focus, you know that that that present time with meaningful relationships, and a lot of times you think or your emotion your amygdala is I need to fight for these relationships. But the problem is, is You can’t prioritize every single relationship. And it’s okay to have acquaintances, it’s okay to have, okay relationships with people that don’t really serve you long term. And so it’s like finding those meaningful ones like family, or your partner, or, you know, some of your employees, like, there’s certain clients, certain networking clients that are going to help elevate you to another thing. mental performance coaches, consultants, like, like people that are in your corner, that kind of those kinds of things are meaningful time, but it’s like, dude, just like random, random dmws or randomness, and it’s just like, they literally are time sucks, and energy sucks, and, and it takes away from your focus. And then the other thing is be intentional. With your eating your writing your conversation, and how present you are in each thing you do. You know, I was gonna make this a joke, but like, I was putting like, down this, I never left the toilet seat. And so he brought that to my attention. Like, can you please just leave up the toilet seat? When you pee? And I was like, I just been so emotional and great. Like, I’ve done it one way my whole life. I don’t lift up the toilets. You don’t hate me for those. And it’s so funny because I never brought an awareness and intention to when I go pee. I just do it as pee. So just recently, they brought that to my attention. I’m like, Okay, I’m about to pee. What is my ritual of peeing? I do lift up the toilet seat now. And it’s something I’m working on. But it’s like, I just did think so subconsciously that it like wasn’t even aware of, like, I don’t even know I did it. And there’s so often we just do things like eating we just wow just pounded a whole hamburger. And I was like, I forgot to even eat a hamburger. Like, I just ate two eight. He like that’s just like a habit. So if you can be conscious of your like, here’s two things that will bring real emotional resilience is bringing consciousness to your breath, bringing consciousness to your posture, like are you just kind of like, Alright, we’re just like, okay, let’s like, let’s like really sit up. And let’s like really take some big breaths.

Let’s like really bring some intention to posture to breathing, things like that. What this is going to do is it’s going to start to trickle into every element of your life. So your posture, your abs, where are they at your breath, your heart rate, things like that, that we don’t think about because it’s just so in us how we’re sitting. Don’t think about how we’re sitting, or how we’re breathing right now. check in with yourself, you’re breathing, you’re awake, you’re alive. You actually get breath in and out of your mouth every friggin second. So pay attention to that. And I know that sounds like crazy and so simple, but I promise that awareness and that practice of focus is going to help move the needle to becoming much more emotional resilience and objective versus so subjective. So I hope you guys got a lot out of these, this podcast and how do you guys share this and leave some reviews like I’m here to help you guys and reach out on Instagram at Sam Taggart and and we can talk about what content you guys need more of. So peace out love. Hope to see you guys at an event coming up or whatever. mowdy

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