Speaker 1: (00:02)
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Speaker 2: (00:48)
Hey Everybody. This is Sam Taggart, your host with the D2D podcast. And I am a very special guest, Craig Manning. And he is one of the new speakers that D2D con next January. And he’s a performance psychology coach. And he says mental because mental performance, right?
So what does that even mean before I kind of give you more, I’m curious like define that real quick.
There’s really three levels of psychology. There’s the mental illness, you know, therapist, counselor, psycho, and Freud stuff. Then there’s positive psychology, which is trying to help people to be healthier and happier, which is more the life coach type of approach.
And then what I do though is performance psychology. So helping people actually create skills, mental toughness skills, mental, uh, so they could learn their physical skills faster and we can change the patterns. Mind mapping, take their performance to our level. So, and they’re helping people and getting them to perform.
Speaker 2: (01:46)
And that’s an important, like one of the, probably the most important things to learn in our business because it’s kind of like, if you don’t, if you don’t hunt and you don’t perform and you don’t, you don’t, you know, you don’t sell, you don’t any money and you’re a fish out of water. So yeah, it’s like one of the biggest issues and challenges I think leaders and owners and reps deal with. It’s just like, man, I wish we were performing at a higher level. Yeah. And so I’m excited to dive into some of the strategies and things in science that you’ve learned because you’ve been a professor at Byu for how long ago? About 20 years. When you talk about the hunting thing, when we have time, cause that is so true. Is that okay? Yeah, we can talk on that cause that’s massive because when you’re, when you’re not, when you’re on the hot and you’re mentally Gauge Royce focused on what to do when you’re not, the wrong mindset is you’re always worried about this outfit in mindset. And those are the two binary mindsets. Are you focusing on what to do or are you focusing on what not to do? Really the core. Yeah. Cool. And then your author of the fearless mind, I’ve read maybe three or four years ago. And it’s funny cause I, I picked it up the other day and I was, you know, I saw all my underlining and my notes and I’m like, wow, I’m going to go interview this guy so they can get the book on the fearless mind.com it’s a phenomenal book talking on
Speaker 3: (02:59)
how to improve your own mentality. That would be a higher performer and we’ll talk on that for a minute. But I’m also, you can check out, you know you have some courses and stuff like that and videos and training.
Speaker 2: (03:10)
It feels so good. The book to feel the spine and on the website that feel is mine.com this is an abbreviated version of the course I teach at the university and, and there’s also coaching weekly coaching on there as well. So
Speaker 3: (03:22)
that’s cool that we actually could access that because you’ve coached not only like professional athletes or Byu athletes to phenomenal Olympians. I mean, and we’re going to talk to that like, so I guess, yeah. Tell me like who have been some of the, like your favorite people you’ve worked with? Their team
Speaker 2: (03:39)
spending a lot of my time lately as we were talking I started doing a lot of one on ones and it evolved to doing teams to have a bigger effect on the team. Cause culture is massive to our spend. A lot of my time these days coaching coaches and to me a coach as a manager, as a parent, it’s a teacher. It’s, I, I’ve, I’ve spent time coaching in the NBA, Jason Kidd, um, some of these, these sorts of names. So I spend time coaching them on the psychological side of performance and they take that information and adapted to the x’s and o’s of what they do. And, and so he’s just one of many coaches I’ve been able to work with, both kind of at that level, which is fun. That’s awesome. What have you done with the Olympics? I know that that was a piece that you’ve yeah, big time with it.
Speaker 2: (04:22)
Spend a lot of time there. I was with the of first working with Matt Christiansen who is now at red bull is one of the directors of high performance at Red Bull, but worked with him for Vancouver and we did really well and so then they asked me to be over a snowboarding and freestyle, so worked with Mike Jana Koski there. He was awesome. Both men and Mike Ross and what we did with both those coaches is is create this shield around the athletes so that they could really focus on what they’re doing, get their mind in the right place, but get everyone so that they could, when it was time at the Olympics, I could actually focus on, you know, what their core competency was and not get all this other interference, which is
Speaker 3: (05:00)
so interesting. I watched an interview with Sean. Why? Yeah, you talked a lot about that, like putting in his headphones and his routine and just like being in the zone and so I hope to dive into the silos I really created. I want to dive in because it’s, it’s a science, it’s a, it’s a mathematical equation. It’s too hard. It’s street exit.
Speaker 2: (05:22)
When people say the soft skills, I hate that it’s not the soft skills. These are tangible hard real skills. Yeah. I want to go through though when we get to
Speaker 3: (05:31)
yeah and did it, he kind of, you’re going to have at least blow our minds, right? I mean that’s, so this podcast is like if you’re, you know, wanting to know who Craig is, we’re going to dive into some of that science, but obviously the learn more go to get your book and it, you know, go to your website and then a DVD con. We’re going to have some sweet stuff there too, so that’d be great. Well that’s it. Let’s dive into this and I want to talk on, I guess real quick some of the most craziest, like what would be some of the craziest that you’ve seen
Speaker 2: (05:58)
from guys going from low to high and like huge love that when I first started working with the Olympic team, Matt Christiansen brought me in over aerialists area. Most of the guys that come down the hill go off the jumps, 60 feet in the air and landed. They were dropped on their heads as a kid. Yeah. Funny Story. Cause uh, Matt was connected with, with red bull and they’re all got IBD. They all got ADHD. These guys. Yeah, they’re all the same sales guys. Right. There’s a common characteristic. Their mind spinning so fast and Matt does too. And he walks up one day and he comes out and he’s got two cases of red bull on either shoulder and he dumps it down in the snow. It’s like guys, there’s a red bull. I’m thinking I need to confiscate that from you guys. You’re already wired as it is so bad. I’m actually getting five hour energy, red bull or monster and it comes sponsor DDD. God love it because I swear.
Speaker 2: (06:48)
Yeah. But anyway, so what the first guy wanted me to work with was a guy that uh, he was 26 years of age. He was struggling. It was in October. And um, that, that’s right when they’re about to leave. So I didn’t want to mess him up. You know, it’s, I’ve just really been introduced to him. I’m still pretty young at the time and so I gave him a journal so of the tool I use a lot. So I gave him a journal and took, gave him my email address and phone number told him that it reached out to me if you need me because I didn’t want to start saying, hey, do this, do this. He goes out in the World Cup tour and he starts hitting me these massive long emails, like massive emails all on what not to do. There was nothing of what to do cause you see the wrong mindset.
Speaker 2: (07:28)
Their, their mind is binary. You’re either focusing on what to do or what not to do. Carol Dweck at Stanford, professor that wrote the book mindset says we either have a growth mindset or a fixed or either alone or a number of other talking. You see that and so he was focusing on what not to do and he did terrible finishes. I’m sending him emails back saying, okay, this is great detail, but what do, what do you need to do? He ends up finishing 49 out of 50 competitors on the woke up to her, quit, goes back to Colorado and has done and they ended up flying me out there and meet with him, committed to come back and I spent nine months just remapping his mind. So everything of what not to do back to what to do. It was a long story, but getting them using the journal, I’ve met with him every week for an hour and reprogramming is mine.
Speaker 2: (08:13)
Next year on the World Cup tour, he won three, three World Cups and world championship. Now why in the world? So we went from 49 out of 50 competitors. It was only 50 allowed on the tour to no one in the world and one year. And I already knew the power of the mind because what was happening with my own terms program. But that was dramatic. That was from basically. It’s almost like just getting cut, basically quitting. And we track everything. So we measured how much they sleep there, their quad strength, everything. And that was the only variable that we changed was the mindset. It’s like, it’s not like he was faster. It’s not like was working and doing the same tricks as the year before. You don’t change your tricks six two years out from the Olympics and just trying to get the muscle memory. Nothing was, the only thing we changed was the mindset really.
Speaker 2: (08:59)
And it’s funny because I tell people this and sales, I’m like, people are like, I’m seeing what you’re saying Sam. I’m like, yeah you are when you are reading. Yeah you’re literally watching my video. You read my script yet you get terrible results and they’re like it’s broken. You can’t do what you do. I’m like, no, it’s my mind isn’t the right way. I’m like it’s my mind is in a different boss. Right. So is there any other crazy stories that you’re like man I you know, any interesting story through your coaching and working with that. So you’d say now that you worked with a basketball player that we all probably know that there’s so, so many. And I honestly, some of the stories I, I hold back because if you’re not, if you don’t really believe, if you don’t have self belief you don’t won’t believe it.
Speaker 2: (09:44)
Like the stuff I’ve seen, I’m so passionate about the power of the mind cause this stuff. I’d say it’s because you worked with the calves a few years back. We worked with the cab. Is this the year that they went? They won the championship but I’m talking like they were down three one or something. Yeah, so this is what happened. They had the biggest payroll in the NBA but they want jelling as a team and every, and this is not secret, everyone knew that weren’t applying Lebron’s back and they came into town to play Utah early and I think late January, late January, early February. And they call me and ask me to come up and do a training and to and to work with one of the guys. A couple of the guys, this one guy was averaging 12.2 rebounds points again, 12.2 and 7.0 12.7 and 7.2 12.7 points a game, 7.2 rebounds a game three sessions later.
Speaker 2: (10:34)
And as it were, I, we were talking earlier, I like to go every other week. So they, I gave them mental skills and wanted him to work on the skills and it takes a couple of weeks. So three sessions, six weeks, he averaged 23.7 and 12.2 for the rest of the season. That’s an increase of 10 points and five rebounds. This is at the NBA level. That’s an increased how much money you’re gonna get paid to do that. Not just increased just alone. Yeah. And so we end up being the hardest team. We got the culture working together. Everyone’s playing together. We were the hottest team in the league. We go in, we swept the Dome Pistons, we swept the hawks, we got a little bit of fat. He goes against the raptors, which is sometimes good for me cause then they’re more teachable. Got them back in the right mindset. We finished out the raptors, we go in and play the warriors and they’re calling me up saying, you know, we’re, our goal is to shut down to death and client.
Speaker 2: (11:22)
I’m like, no, no, no, no, no. That’s the wrong goal. Or in the wrong mindset. That’s where the active, that’s right. Yeah. There you go. You have someone not to do and so not to do. Yeah. And so we end up going down three one and they’re like, no, no, we’re going to do this that we don’t shut him down, the girlfriend and and 20 and so we ended up shutting guns. Steph in Cli and lost by 30 cause you can see when you’re focusing on, when you’re focusing on somebody else, if I’m trying to shut you down, it’s very expensive. It is. And what’s happening to me using my strengths, you see any, it gets caught 40 in the night if I’m focusing on you, what happens? Spawn performance. And it’s worried about damage about you. Yeah. How’s to go down. So anyway, long story, there’s some, a lot of details, but I ended up talking backwards and forwards from my the contact area and it got heated.
Speaker 2: (12:07)
One of the calls got, he swore at me twice and finally I said, look what you’re saying to the greatest player in the in the world is you’re not good enough to win executing your own skills. And he went, definitely solved. Wow. And I finally said, it’s like playing chess. When you play chess and you’re always trying to stop your opponent, you’re always moved behind here. I was always going to happen. You just hit your, your rent. And I said, stop talking about the words they need to. He’s like, what do you want us to do? I said, call a meeting Tom. Stop talking about the worst. I mean, it’d be the team that must not be named. Focus on your strengths. Get everyone to go around the room, what your strengths are and talk about what your strengths are and then be proactive, which is instead of reactive, be proactive.
Speaker 2: (12:49)
Those are three things. Start worrying about your opponents and focus on what you’re doing. First. Second, build around your strengths. Third, be proactive. We ended up coming back winning the MBA. By the way, next game we, it was something like 140 140 there’s heat. He threw that thing out to me. Again, if we don’t shut them down, they’re going to score 120 I said, so what? Score 121 yeah, the next game they beat him 141 they’re like, this score kept Coby, Kyrie end. Brian both went for 40. It was unreal. Then the next thing was like a 100 2,625 then the next game was when Steph through his mouth piece, and I love, he’s so good. Mentally and I, I’d always been a fan of the warriors culture, but when he throws me out based on like, oh, we got a chance broke and he’s snapping, snapping.
Speaker 2: (13:40)
Then last game, yeah, he never gets fucked. Like he just started smiling. He has the right mindset. Very, very mentally tough. But then that last game we just executed to our strengths and Lebron on the floor. Doris, uh, uh, he has been reported grabbing when he’s doing on the floor and said, Lebron, what did you do different? He said, we changed our mindset. There’s is direct. Does that just make you feel like are, but I mean, just like that is so cool. I know we don’t work. Should have been the check should have got a much bigger checker. Let’s take quizzes. And the thing is most of these, you don’t know what’s going on behind there. Know what we’re talking about is never going to be like, well, this guy and this guy and this guy I told me to say, there’s no one. So that’s a lot of the work.
Speaker 2: (14:20)
It’s behind the scenes. No one really knows what’s going on and there’s no way I’m saying they won the championship because of me. I’m just saying mindset is that important, but that I think that that’s such an important principle is because so many people look at them holding a trophy, but they forget the mental journey that they had to go through to get you there. Yeah. It’s like the combination of work ethic and the right mindset behind network. Yes, it’s absolutely, you got to have the skills and you’ve got to keep developing the skills, but if your mind’s locked, you’re not using the skills you already have. Once I take take tiger woods, right, right. It’s like pinnacle boom to nothing and it’s like, oh, we go like, it’s not like he got unskilled in gray sorts of interference. He’s got all these skills and I like to say all this interference was like covering up those skills and blocking these skills and to unlock those skills.
Speaker 2: (15:13)
He’s got to work on these mental skills to get the most out of them. So let’s talk mental skills. Let’s talk. What are the tangible scientific things that we can, okay, great. Yes. Yeah. It’s like, okay, I am a leader and I want to unlock this dude’s potential. Here’s some skills. Go. This is when you talked about the hard science at the lead. Here’s the hard neurosciences is cutting edge neuroscience neurons that fire together wire together. Okay. Neurons that fire together, wire together. So when a neuron fires, it sends them a message and it, and my topia wax around the the synapse making a connection. This is the science behind patterns. It’s creating a pattern. So how that neuron firing is your self talk. So if you talk to yourself in a subtractive way, not negative, we always use the word negative. Subtractive meaning focusing on what not to do.
Speaker 2: (16:07)
Do subtractive as always take it. Because we are as interpreted. I’m still being optimistic. I’m tired. Hey, we could still win if we shut down clay. And those get right versus what was going on. It’s attractive. It’s that negative. You think about the word subtract, subtract weeks. What you’re telling you about the, the black versus white. Yeah, you’re talking, right. So if you’re telling you stuff what not to do, what has to happen, your performance, what won’t happen, what not to do. Yeah. So the neuron, if you tell yourself what not to do, your neurons are firing and creating the river. The pattern of thought and the more you do it, that pattern gets in the subconscious. Okay, now what happened? Your performance goes down. It goes down. So what the science is saying, science says neurons that fire together, wire together. In other words, whatever we think about the most is who we will can become.
Speaker 2: (16:56)
It’s science says whatever we think about the most. Titone create a physical connection. So it was this soft science or is this hardest part time? It’s creating real physical, neurological pathway. Do you ever, and I don’t want to take it a too big of a tangent, but are you like in the labs and like checking people’s, like there’s people that do the buyer, okay, I can have done by our feedback, which is great, but I’m worried. How do you create the new patterns? And so that’s really the key is it’s not about chicken. It’s not about getting rid of the old patterns because once they’re there, they’re there long term. So it’s hard to, you can’t just like delete them. You can’t delete them. It’s, you just want to stop reinforcing him. And so it’s almost like that muscle shut down and you created a new muscle.
Speaker 2: (17:37)
Yes. It’s like, and just, no, I use this muscle. It’s this muscle. It’s just dead. It’s just a dog pulling weeds because if you pull weeds, the seats fall and land in the soil and grow back worse. So every time you put weed, you’re spreading the weeds. Instead water like water the grass and fertilize the grass roots grow deeper and richer kills. Squeeze the weeds out. Love that. So the opposite, obviously instead of subtractive as additive. So what I’m saying is instead of being reactive, be proactive. And so when you’re telling yourself what to do, that neuron is firing what to do, where I think naturally we’re wired to be reactive and ID subtract. Okay. So I think we’ve become natural. We use, we’ve constantly told us as what not to do. That’s what I’m saying. And were coached by it. Not because we’re bad parents, but because no one knew this is science has cutting it.
Speaker 2: (18:23)
I think if you’re the book, Ego is the enemy. Yeah. It talks about the exam. It literally is time or not ego there the doubt outwitting the devil, the devil. I knew where you’re going and the devil. Yup. Any talks about this whole, okay, can we go there? Yeah. So in that fourth chapter, pollen, heels, interviewing the devil love this. You gotta, you gotta love it. And he’s saying him, the devil wants to be called Your Majesty, right? Yes. And he says, well tell me Your Majesty. How do you do this? He says, it’s quite simple. I just up, you occupied the empty space in people’s minds. That’s what I was going in. And the update occupying the space is the subtractive thoughts. If you let subtract thoughts in, you’re letting the devil in germ mind the opposite. There’s proactive, proactive. It’s finished to do.
Speaker 2: (19:10)
Yeah. The fact that filling that empty stomach. Yes. And as you can now you’re creating real physical connections of what to do. And they’re getting into subconscious. So what will happen in performance? What will you do? So I’m changing people at the core. That’s why guys coaching is so big. That’s why coaching so important. It’s so because we impact everyone we come in contact with. So now from the time you have kids, now, what do you want to be telling your kids from the beginning? Don’t touch the hot plate. Oh, you tell him. Keep your hands down instead of saying your kid don’t do this, tell them you need to do this. And there’s the, there’s the beginning. It’s simply, wow, my whole parenting shifted. Just barely light. Can you see the change? I want to catch my language. Like I think I’m going to be a lot more present around.
Speaker 2: (19:56)
Great. What language I’m using with you. Cause I don’t want to be the devil. Like you know I talked about the parents, that religious leaders and the teachers. It’s like those are the people that entrapped by sending this whole what that ever wants. Cause they’re not telling us the subtractive thought. Yeah, exactly. So let’s go back to the, so skills. The first one is self talks. We need our self talk to be proactive. But then you said the next thing as you brought this up, he thinks he wants to occupy empty space. So now if we go to conference, which we know we wanted to talk about so well we’ll go in detail when we’re ready, but when we’re passive, okay with ourselves, you may be telling yourself what to do, meaning you may be additive. But if you’re too soft, quiet, what’s happening to occupying the space?
Speaker 2: (20:41)
It’s soft. It’s weak. And so what does the devil do? He was like, I can beat there. Yep. And he comes in and fills in the space. That’s why true confidence is being assertive. When you’re assertive with yourself, your tone is strong and what’s occupying the space that you are. And there’s the, that is why confidence and competence. That is why that has been found to be the number one was critical. Psychological characteristic, influencing human performance. It is bar none the most important. So I recruiting a candidate to work with me. Okay, how do I test his confidence? So can we talk about it?
Speaker 3: (21:16)
Yeah. Yeah. Let’s talk about, yeah cause I was like man I could talk for five hours on this. I was like question, question, question, question. So
Speaker 2: (21:25)
because it’s, most people talk about conference, they don’t know how to do it. Yeah. That’s why this is a performance psychology. You got to know how to do it. Passiveness is not confidence I put passing down the bottom. Passiveness is that I stayed your grade mentality. That’s a lose win. Okay. I’m putting myself down when I’m doing that. I’m not owning the space and I even have science here that’s cutting edge neuroscience. It says the highest level of human performance is deliberate self talk, not positive. Deliberate breath meaning who’s thoughts shouldn’t be my dad aren’t your thoughts?
Speaker 3: (21:58)
So it’s being, it’s owning your identity, right? Saying I see what you’re big passive though. What’s happening to owning your identity? It’s just you’re succumbing to everybody else. US The white. Everywhere you’re giving it to everybody. You’re saying power of you and I don’t own me. Yeah, so that’s worse case scenario. Okay. Then you go up. The other end of the spectrum is the arrogance to most people throw her into aggression. You’re in your book and fearless mind. They talked about arrogance versus confidence and I always had this debate cause I’m like, if you’re effing Lebron James, how does he not be Eric? It’s kind of like I am not that great. It’s a good example because arrogant people
Speaker 2: (22:34)
born on third base, meaning they’re born better looking than the average person. Are they born into wealth or they’re born with a bit, they go through puberty earlier and a bigger and stronger, or they’re born into, they do well academically, earlier. And so they’ve had success early with no effort. And so when other start working hard and start to pass him up at like age 1314 how are you maintaining your confidence when you don’t put effort in because they see you’re not alone. You’re not alone. So what happens? We have to tear people down to make yourself feel better. So arrogant people are always, you suck. You’re terrible at this. You’re until it’s personal and they’re always undercutting. You. See, arrogance is always putting people beneath. You can see that. Yeah. So is that a loser win for them? It’s a win. Lose. That’s a loose for them because they’re not getting better and seeing it all.
Speaker 3: (23:24)
Yeah, just trying to here and stopped everybody. Yes. So can you see that to lose lose?
Speaker 2: (23:30)
That’s, that’s why arrogant people at dangerous on your team. Because not only do they not perform, what are they doing? Other people you don’t want Aaron, you got to try and change it fast. They go and live by three strike rule. I tried to tell them and turn it around, but if they don’t become learners, meaning growth and fixed mindset. Yeah, I hate saying this but you got to cut him loose. Even if they’re considering talented. It’s like actually you could be so gifted but you keep just maintaining cause see why bill Bellacheck with the Patriots. Can you see why the San Antonio Spurs with Papa Vick? Guys that are great, but they’ll let him go. Why do I go? Because they’re killing the culture of the tape. That is so crazy that, and that’s what makes him such amazing coaches. Yup. So that’s why I said two ends of the spectrum.
Speaker 2: (24:13)
Both again, if we go through this passage as a lose, win or lose for me, win for others. Arrogance is a lose for me. A loose rattlers cause. So both of those that don’t perform. And let’s go down one. So then aggression. See, most people don’t understand the difference. Aggression is, I’m better than you. So if you’re here, I’m putting myself above you. I’m not undercutting you. I’m putting myself above and better than you. So you, so what happens with aggressive people? Do they perform? Heck yeah. Can I focus? Heck, it’s all dependent on who’s next to now. Yeah, because it’s, I guess as long as they have somebody that they can then be proportioning just an arch your back and I think you’re good. Then they think they’re good. That’s interesting. So they’re all subject to their environment, right? So if we played tennis and you are really, really, really bad at tests and I’ve beat you, what does that make me good?
Speaker 2: (25:02)
Or just really, really bad. Exactly. I see. No, you’re good. I’m just better than you. And that. Yes. And here’s the other problem. When we’re always trying to beat somebody, we always will perform to their level. So that’s why it seems, I think I’m very, I’m a very, where’d you call aggressive or aggressive? Aggressive person? Like now thinking through this, I’m like, I don’t come I that arrogant, but I actually think I am pretty aggressive. Can you see aggressive? This is aggressive. People perform, they get it done. So what’s happened to passive and arrogance? By the time you sign the MDA height in the NFL, what’s happened at to pass her an arrogance. They’re not there because they’re not getting better. So which is the two most predominant? Well, aggression and assertiveness we’ll go to in a minute, but which is the most predominant? Progressive. Aggressive.
Speaker 2: (25:49)
It’s so the more high performing you get, how much and how much aggressive people do you have coming around you. And so it’s very, it’s, it’s super hard to play team when you’re all aggressors. It’s what happens. A lot of people’s, I start becoming passive because they were, where’s the map? Yeah. And they stopped competing. They start competing with themselves because they’re like, he’s a bigger ball in the room. It’s still a big ball, but I’m just down fighting a nine with drawer. Oh Wow. I think I literally can pinpoint times in my life where I’ve done that or I’ve watched others on my team do that. You know, when they’re not the best, they withdraw every, no one’s truly every way. All us, like these different mindsets. We all predominantly stay in one, but we’ll also like no one is truly just passive because their resentments building up and then they’ll lash out and be aggressive and forecast how more rife.
Speaker 2: (26:38)
Dude, really no joke. Like our first years of marriage, it’s very like mastercam and actually found her voice and it was like, wow, you just want bitch mode and now she’s back in down to like, it’s crazy. It’s like we just had this thing yesterday with the counseling lady. There was like, we kind of came to this realization and she like, it hurt her and I was like, that makes sense. No one calls a divorce who does the passive post in Mary? Gross aggressive because I want somebody to tell them what to do. Cause passive people always whiting lose when they’re always, what he waiting for somebody asking me out, waiting for somebody to tell him what to do, waiting for something to happen aggressively, but one who is called to tell what to do and so what happens? Passive and aggressive people marry each other.
Speaker 2: (27:21)
But as a passive person starts to find their voice, like you said, it will become assertive. They want more control. Often an aggressive person doesn’t want to relinquish control. Hundred percent divorce. That’s our marriage. We should, you know that, that’s so funny that I’m seeing it in so many different ways, but I’ve never studied it. Like I’ve never had it explained this way because I think it’s an interesting mindset. So is there a middle? Is there, so let’s go to the best way. Yeah. See again, because they’re asserting that is the best way has sort of been the service. Cause again, passing this is a lose win. Um, arrogance is a lose. Lose aggression is, I’m better than you. All of those are rooted in the comparison with the others. So you competing with somebody else. Always. Assertiveness is, I’m good, I’m good. You’re good. Assertiveness is a win win.
Speaker 2: (28:10)
So the thing that people don’t understand when you’re asserting though, when you’re assertive, you’re 31st with yourself and when you’re assertive with yourself, you compete. But you compete with yourself. So now you’re not threatened by aggressive people. You’re not threatened by arrogance. He could probably get annoyed with passive people and you’re just out there trying to make it work. And you see, when we’re passive, the focus is always this out to in, like I mentioned when we were passing it, it’s always about Ami. What I’m not getting, what are people thinking of me? It’s always about me. When I’m aggressive, I’m trying to be better than you. So again, it’s always about me being better than you. When you’re assertive, I’m not. It’s not about me. It’s about the task. And I loved seeing how good I can execute the task. I love the challenge every time I go door to door to see how well I handle the people, to see how well I can sell.
Speaker 2: (28:58)
I love the challenge of trying to hit these goals. I’m not threatened by any of these things anymore. Instead, I’m just alive and I’m passionate about seeing how good I can handle things. And I love that. So when there’s challenges, when there’s adversity, what does it do to you? Nothing. There is no fear. You’re not. Yeah, you’re, you’re just zoned. You’re in the air in the zone. When you saw her, they put a shield around there are people and cut like caged in into assertive. Yes. Essentially. And you’re not threatened by people. I wrote this actually I was driving up to our cabin and Idaho Cause I was doing this coaching session a lot and I got my 11 year old just to tiger. It is what thoughts and popped in my mind. I said when my passive passiveness we’re not in control of our thoughts.
Speaker 2: (29:40)
So what it leads to is this hyper activity to where we overthink things and we overanalyze it. And what my pastor, we were always, we dramatize everything. We overcomplicate everything going like should I go to this door? So I go to that door, should I do this? Maybe I should do this, maybe we should do this. Why is this not working? And you’re over analyzing everything and it creates this hyperactive mind. And that’s where 80 day in ADHD comes from. Cause we live in the digital age and we’re talking a hundred miles an hour and we’re spinning out of control. So what happens? Their anxiety. I think there’s that. This is literally what happened to me in about a month ago now. I walk out of my house and I’m like, should I take the truck, which I take the suby today. Maybe I take the truck now and maybe I’ll take a me.
Speaker 2: (30:16)
It’s more fun now. The truck, the old truck, cause there are doing all this construction. I was like, Craig, take the truck and as soon as I said that, no more mental resources deployed to the decision. I just turned and walked to the truck. It wasn’t a like there’s, I’m on discussion anxiety around, am I doing it right or wrong? It’s just, you know, you made a decision. I know I’m going crazy here, but one more. I love it. No, keep going. I had like multiple speaking engagements. I was like in four different states within a week and I had this last one on a Friday at four o’clock in park city, probably the smallest of the involvement and turned up there at three 30 and it’s just a little fatigue. I sat there and chair. I was like just sitting here by myself without anyone to be fired.
Speaker 2: (30:58)
I’m like, I’m a target and why this is a little one now it’s okay, no big deal. 100 people, it’s not a big deal. And so what did in there? And I was just sitting there a little tired and all the sudden I started getting nervous. I’m getting nervous cause what mindset are getting tested and when you pass it, what, what are what occupies in space. They’re here and we’re all of a sudden I’m like, no, I’m representing me. I need to do a good job. And I started talking to myself in my head like, I don’t want to kill my throat now, but in my head I was like, be assertive so you can yell to yourself. Oh, as long as it’s words. Yeah. See it. Aggression is just anger and there’s no delivered action. It’s a see that, do this. Yeah. There’s agood actually catch herself.
Speaker 2: (31:38)
Even just making loud noises. It man ain’t here yet. Or is it anger? It’s frustration. You’re just mad. Whereas a assertiveness on the high end of the assertiveness, it is deliberate. Yeah. And in my head I’m like, be assertive. I’m gonna do this, I’m going to crush this, I’m going to do this. And so I’m telling myself in this really strong tone of what to do. And then they introduced me, I get up, it was by far the best performance I’ve ever done. It is by far the most fun I’ve ever had. And it’s by far the most, I wasn’t self conscious or worried about me and my ego was completely, I feel like under control cause all I was doing was trying to deliver the best speaking engagement could for the people in the audience. And it wasn’t about me, it wasn’t about any of that. It was just about me trying to do what I could for the people. I had so much fun when I walk off stage. And Mike, I got to get there every time because that was the most feel as I think I’ve ever been. It wasn’t about me. It was about them. And seeing what I could do was a wind
Speaker 3: (32:40)
total win. Win. Well think if I, you know, before every door, before every meeting. But for every demo I give like whatever it is, it’s like if you entered with that, what’s that? Assertiveness. What is the outcome? I mean it’s, it’s, it’s like a lot of people, it’s so funny, I get so many people that are like, well, just nobody wanted to buy today passing thing to say like, you just didn’t make any of these apps. And like, what do you mean? Like, so if I attract that same neighborhood tucked at the same people you’re telling me? Yeah, with the right energy, you’re telling me nobody would have bought. Well, you’re just, I’m like, nope, they’re younger. And it’s, I think it’s so interesting because that’s what are we, what, how often do we need to be having those conversations of like, Craig cool. it’s like, wait a minute, I’m representing me. Like I don’t, you know, and I think so often we get worn down to where it’s like not again, I don’t know.
Speaker 2: (33:34)
One more passive. That’s what when we’re worn out, where they pass it with ourselves, with ourselves. Again, some of us are certainly with people, but we got to be a surgeon with us, so sometimes we’re too soft with ourselves when we’re like, oh, woe is me and all of this and that. That’s not humility. That’s being self deprecating and putting ourselves down. Other Times they’re too mad at ourselves. Assertiveness is in the middle, so think about this too. If I’m passive, who can I sell to? Kind of sell to assertive and aggressive people had net retention. It just be passive and passive. They don’t. Yeah. The only person who can sell to is passive. If you’re aggressive, who can you sell to where you can still be massive and you can sell the other aggressive, but if you’re assertive, who can you sell to every single room. Everyone.
Speaker 3: (34:17)
Yeah. It’s irrelevant. What they’re yelling at you about your kind of like, okay, somebody’s going on instead of like, I need to get angry back. You know what I mean? The aggressor comes out of you. Yeah. That is interesting.
Speaker 2: (34:29)
Yeah. Somebody is yelling at you. You say assertive with yourself and to use humor or use whatever you want to try and get the other person and meet them halfway. I love it.
Speaker 3: (34:37)
Okay, so let’s transition into confidence now. So you know a lot of people in this job, they’re like, man, I just wish I had more confidence or I wish I could recruit more confident people. Like what creates
Speaker 2: (34:48)
this confidence? So confidence is a certain executive. This confidence, just assertiveness is confidence. So let’s go. There is, let’s transition to how you build it though. Like you were saying, but, but here’s the truth though. The second word, passive with ourselves. What happens to respect? We lose our own little respect. What happens to respect from everyone else? They see these just walk out. You become a doormat, right? When you are assertive with yourself. Now what happens yourself? Respect goes up. What happens with everyone else? They want to be around his confidence. So how do we build a dog? And all the years I’ve been studying this, I’ve been mapping it out. I got so much research on human performance after the last two decades, so much still to this day. This is my favorite topic because confidence is being found to be number one as we talk about, but no one knows how to really build it.
Speaker 2: (35:36)
This is the still the, it’s like my eighth lecture at the units. Let’s second last lecture at the university as save it towards the end and he hasn’t done one thing and build confidence. Your previous performance accomplishments and that’s in your book. That’s in the book, which what does that mean? We’re all taught, you’ve got to learn from others. You’re going to learn from others. What does the research really saying? You should learn from who from itself. Always. So always a pie. It sounds, it’s like Brian Tracy says, when’s the easiest 10 million sale right after that is it? It kind of goes back to the building. That confidence, confidence is built up. Something you’ve done is a big difference in belief. Belief is something you’re trying to, you need to believe to do something you haven’t done. Yeah, you’re aspiring. It’s faith. If I one day I could ride.
Speaker 2: (36:17)
So that’s why after, this is why all you guys out there listening to this in all the times I’ve speak, why I always tell everybody get a journal and write down the three things you did well you’re three one I implemented the day cause it works cause you can only do that. What is the most precious resource? Confidence. That’s our most precious human resource and what’s the one now? Number one where you build it, your previous performance accomplishments. So it doesn’t necessarily be, let’s say I haven’t sold in a week and so it’s like what? How still getting yourself so it doesn’t take previous performance outcome performance is the performance the difference we tried. Yes. I’m glad you did. It’s not man, it’s not my previous outcome. Accomplishments. It’s fine. Previous performance. So every opportunity there’s a chance to do what? Yeah, I worked really, I worked on the hours today and worked hard.
Speaker 2: (37:03)
I did this, well I did this while I did this west smile more and today we’re building confidence and the more you fill your mind with that, yup. Then confidence for them. Be it and it. And then the other thing I’d love to, and I know I’m passionate about this, but the more you do this, the more you’re building skills that are unique to you. So now you’re figuring out your own journey and your own path and not somebody else’s. And so I know these guys are taking your script and going out there, which is great, but they’re learning from you what they should first be doing as learning from them first. So first and number two is number two is vicarious experiences, which is learning from others. But I think the order is critical because if you’re learning for somebody else first and conforming, conforming to you when I’m conforming to you now I’m not being assertive at all now what mine. So if absolutely. And so I want to learn for myself first, then learn from other second. So I have my identity first and our mounting if myself first to third line.
Speaker 3: (38:02)
It’s funny you say that because I just trained a bunch of these owners and part of the training that I did this weekend was I said training. It was all about recruiting and onboarding reps. And I said the biggest problem I think we have in training our new reps and new hires, as we say, shadow me, shadow me, and then come to my correlation in roleplay. And that’s our training extent. I said it’s more powerful to say, here’s the stuff I need you to read. I want you to write it out. I want to think through it. And then I want you to go, sue, I want you to go to do it. And then I want to analyze
Speaker 2: (38:36)
it together. And I want you to do the mental work. They have to do the mental, they’d have to do the mental work versus relying on my experience. So let’s go back to write the beginning with the neurons firing. Yes. If they’re not doing the mental work, whose, whose messages, who’s talk as being fired, not theirs, yours. And now they’re conforming. And now when they wake up in the morning, what happens to motivation when it’s not their thoughts? It just is nonexistent. You know? It’s like, well, that’s not my thought. Yes. So let me ask you this. I went for a week, haven’t gotten ASL as a leader, a trainer, how do I still help them see the wings so that they don’t lose confidence? Because I think a big problem in our industry is a guy starts, it doesn’t make any money quit, but it’s like Dang, he really had a lot of potential.
Speaker 2: (39:19)
Just didn’t give it enough chance. Yeah, you got it. It’s costing us like this. Love it. I think you’ve got to start at the beginning was not the goal of closes but the glow of I need to get this particular skill down. I need you to get this skill down. And then so at the end, cause that’s something that’s performance that somebody has control over. As he’s getting the skills down and he’s feeling building confidence cause he’s getting the skills down. Then the closes, we’ll just come. Once they start to close, then you switch the objective, the from skills to the closers as they build that confidence. Because I think so early on we put the objective as closes, it’s to fund and they feel this anxiety of like, well, I’m not doing that, so I lose my confidence. I’m maybe not cut out for this, you know, and they’d beat themselves up.
Speaker 2: (40:00)
And I would even say even it’s even an, even as I’m saying this, it’s critical to always have a expectations around skills or ways, even as you bring in the outcome goals still relatives. And I actually trained on that a lot because if the outcome is what every, all your rewarding and you know, it’s just that, it’s kind of like you’re only limiting what’s the aggressors you think about it. It’s kind of like what is outcome? It’s if we focused only on the skill, it’s like a wooden principle almost. It’s like the very fundamentals, the outcome just comes and your prouder. When you focus too much on the outcome, you do it. That’s where the aggressiveness kicks in. Exactly. And Youtube and your, all, your energy’s going on the outcome, not an actually the performance. So if you’re always focusing on the outcome, your development is not as rapid.
Speaker 2: (40:47)
Whereas you function on the performances, no end to how good you can get. Yeah, exactly. It’s, it’s like society is telling me five days really good when there’s guys that did 40 in a day, it’s like it ain’t nothing like, you know what I mean? It goal. Yeah, exactly. And so I think that’s an interesting pencil of mindset cause there was a guy just recently that, you know, my best week guys, number one I don’t learn and my best friend Chris, 29 this guy just went and did 207 in a week. Really? Yeah. And I was like, I’m good. Blow it out of the water. Tick. You take the top five guys. If I could pick my dream team, we’d still don’t beat them together. Right. You know what I mean? Like how did my, and I think it goes to the principal and it eat an egg put it just been mind boggling to me.
Speaker 2: (41:30)
I’m like, that’s not possible right now. I want to throw darts and I, but it comes back to mindset for him. He didn’t, he was assertive. Yep. He wasn’t passive. He wasn’t aggressive. It was like me versus the number one guy here. It was me versus me. Yeah. And that’s I just competing. Competing themselves. Yeah. So previous performance accomplished and swallowed Carrie, right. Carrie’s to third is your, um, verbal persuasion, which is your tongue. Could you see assertiveness is tone when you’re passive, what’s your tone in your head? Like it’s weak, right? When you’re aggressive, it’s just roar energy. Your tone and your head needs to be strong. So you own this space. That’s that global dissuasion meaning will sometimes you got to will yourself to higher levels. Some what we tend to do when things don’t go well, sometimes we overthink things and we overanalyze things.
Speaker 2: (42:16)
And that’s where the processor, the overthinking, which I really believe professionally over thinking is one of the banes of our society right now. We use a human race over think things and it’s because we have so much access to information stimuli coming at us. It’s like we’re overstimulated. Yeah. Yeah. And that’s, we still got to think, we’re just overthinking. And so that verbal persuasion is, no, I’m doing it now. I got this. And you just literally willing yourself through things. And I think what’s so interesting is it is this world. We live in a distracted world. Yeah. It’s like with an ATV job, all of us being add doorknocking. Yeah. Salespeople is, I think a lot of times we fail to act. We failed to decide. We failure move. We’re getting decision. It’d be nice. We get indecisive and hey, watch that over and over again.
Speaker 2: (43:03)
And it’s like, just go. Just, you know, put your head down and go do what the Nike man says. Just do it. Do it. Yeah. Yeah. It’s like, well, what if I said it runs me? Who Cares? Go for like, see that? What if I say wrong? That’s that passive over. That’s the, and that’s also the negative. That’s a negative. As you get fig, what’d you got? Negative subtractive scratch haptic feedback loop. Yeah. So anything outside. I know we’re at a time, but yeah, it was more with our physiological states of builds competence and that would be Tony Robbins stuff. That’s body language show. It’s the swagger. You gotta have the right Swire, you gotta have that assertive swagger. He’s doing anything crazy like physiology to ship that just got to make sure you’ve got to be super aware of your posture. You think passive people, what happens is second you can see it and as soon as they get passive one passing thought shoulders down, you know are arrogant.
Speaker 2: (43:50)
People literally looked down their nose and you have the most aggressive people are in your space asserting people. What’s their body language? Tall, straight slew. They walk at a nice pace. You can see it on their body language, their handshake there, eye contact. It’s assertive. All of us as being present around what is my body language telling me right now and just controlling that. So do you have any hacks that you have found? Like any, just like, do this, do this, do this, like that. You would recommend, I would write down, be asserted, get a dry erase marker and write it down on your mirror. Be Assertive, just the word to be assertive as strong. Then I would say from tone of voice and I would say strong body language. Those are three applications to it. Cool. Those three and then all of a sudden confidence.
Speaker 2: (44:35)
It’ll just start to build because you’re practicing it, you’re intentional. That’s the key is we’ve got a practice that you’ve got to practice it because if I tell you what it is too much now, what mindset are you in? I’m in in reactive and passive. I’m using my neuro connections is yours and that’s one of the biggest things I say, write down, be assertive on your wall somewhere and go and figure out what that looks like for you. Yeah, it’d be assertive with yourself and figure out how it is and then I need him to come back a few times just to be able to really get them to understand and articulate what it looks like for them. It’s unbelievable. When we get confidence down though, it’s unbelievable. Teams have been working with just crushing it. Business companies, singers, musicians just crush it when they truly assertive because when you’re assertive it literally gets rid of thought of approval. It’s just your thoughts. So now what happens to the strategic tactical plans you put in place now? So they’re yours, yours, yeah, you’re in flow, you’re in flow all the time. Always having a plan, always solving problems versus like, is this pain going to work? What do you think that, you know, you’re just always putting plans in place. If it doesn’t work, you just come up with another plane and love it. Yeah.
Speaker 3: (45:44)
Okay. Well I honestly like appreciate one, you taking the time out of your busy schedule. Thanks. This has been great. Very like I just get a lot of energy. I’m like, we could go on for hours, man. I know you’ve got other calls to make, but I’m excited. Obviously having a door to archive. That’ll be, that’ll be fun. I mean there’s only 10 names, stage spots and you’re one of the were stoic. Um, and then uh, yeah, for those that are listening are catching this, uh, the fearless mind.com. That’s where the things picture. But I love his book by the way. Go get it. Very recommended. Um, and then the last question I ask every single person, it’s just you’re going to have a short, simple answer, but if you had to give the advice to the door to door industry and it’s interesting coming from you outside of that issue, but you’ve worked with them, um, what, what piece of advice would you give them? Okay, so other than being assertive, you got to do
Speaker 2: (46:31)
research, which means get a journal and at the end of each day write down the three things that work for you. The previous performance, if you writing down three things that worked for you, you’re doing your research, you’re going to figure it out super fast. Yeah. Cause you’re more tension all about learning. And in the end, the growth mode, you’re increasing your intelligence around your field of expertise. It’s additive thoughts and it’s doing what works and what doesn’t work. I love that so fast. If you do that. And also when you do that and you’re seeing your success.
Speaker 3: (47:01)
Cool. Well, thank you so much.