Hi, what’s up guys, Sam tag right here. And I’m going to go over some amazing tips on becoming more emotional, resilient, be more gritty. Like, how do you go build this? Tenacity inside you in the school of hard knocks, whether that’s knocking on doors, whether that’s knocking on opportunities, business, whatever that looks like, I’m going to teach you four simple hacks on becoming more emotional resilient. Now, if you like this YouTube channel subscribe and share these videos with other people that need to become more of grinders, more door knockers, more emotional, resilient people, and check out these videos.
Practice Objectivity
So the first tip on being emotional resilient is practice objectivity. You have to ask yourself, okay, this happened equals objective. Is this good or bad? That’s subjective. It’s the perceiving eye. That’s weak and it’s the observing eye. That’s strong. So if we say, okay, my perceiving eye says, this is bad. It’s like, well, that’s just your perception. If you took another lens or you took another viewpoint or you saw yourself in three years and looked back, it might not be bad. That’s all subjective to what your opinion is. If you take it as an observing eye, take a second, say, okay, what’s happening to me? Like I’m getting rejected. I’m getting a lot of no’s. I haven’t made money in a week. Like whatever that problem that you’re running into is, and you saw it from an observing eye and saying, okay, that’s what’s happened. That’s where I get to then make some decisions based on facts, not based on how I’m feeling. Warren buffet said, “You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. The true power is sitting back and observing things with logic. True power is restraint. If words control you, that means everyone else can control you, breathe and allow things to pass.” And so this coming from one of the richest men in the world, and it’s like the ability to breathe, pause, let things come to pass and not allow other things to control you. That is the power of practicing objectivity. It’s time to really check in with every event, mishap, situation, and result and saying, okay, am I letting myself be fragile? Or do I get to be anti-fragile in this moment?
Train Your Response System
Tip number two is train your response system. It takes intentional practice to train your amygdala to how to respond with what you want. The amygdala is that core neural system that processes threats, right? It’s either fight, flight, or freeze. What’s interesting is that it’s actually two times faster than your neocortex. The military trains your amygdala. You take a look at Alex, the guy that did the free solo and climbed Del Capetan. They literally did studies and cat scans of his amygdala. They said it was black because, he had trained his amygdala so much not to fight, flight, or freeze and just to do the action, climb the wall, despite not having any ropes and free climbing. So, the military trains, these soldiers, cause they’reย in a fire fight and they’ve got bad guys coming at them if they just freeze or flight, then the whole troop is going to die. And so, they need to test people’s amygdala strength in saying, can you control this lizard brain, is what they call it, and really take action based off objectivity. Basically, when they do these drills, they do a thing called the pool comp. If you study like Naval seal training, they drop these dudes or women in underwater and they practice holding their breath and then they practice like the scuba tank. They’ll come over your back and rip off your mask and start fighting you.
So, you’re freaking out cause you don’t have oxygen. I’ve been holding my breath for X amount of time. They actually do it to where you pass out and when you’re underground and you go all the way until you pass out or you’re underwater, that’s a scary feeling. It’s a really scary situation, I’m assuming. But, that’s the question of how emotionally resilient would I be? Would I be able to withstand my mind, telling my body it’s gonna die or saying no, my body’s not gonna die. My mind’s just trained to tell it it’s going to die and allowing to trust this whole drill. Things are bad, but your body is going to either then act or not act. It’s going to sit and fight or flight or run. Your body is going to make decisions. But, if I go out and knock and I go continue to do the work, despite my emotional feelings, then I’ve now kind of separated that whole “lizard brain” and reactive system to just what’s happening. What is objectivity? You felt like you worked all week because you were scared of work, but you truly only worked five hours. It’s like, that’s not that that like what is objective is you worked five hours, but you’re what is subjective is you feel like you worked the whole week and we see this all the time when I coach or consult or train people.
Don’t Get Stuck In Learned Helplessness
Now the third tip is don’t get stuck in what we call learned helplessness. The ability to choose cannot be taken away or even given away it can only be forgotten. So often, we forget that we choose our results In life, if we get these sequences of no’s and sequences of losses that then we think they all loop in the next door or the next opportunity in life is going to be a no, because the last five were no’s. But, we have to look at opportunities as mutually exclusive. We have to look at doors as each door is a different door, but if we lump them all together and say, this whole neighborhood is shot, or we lump opportunities to say, oh, well, I’ve tried sales and I’m not a salesperson. You’re like, well, no, you just had a few opportunities that you missed and now you get to choose what the next one looks like. But, you’ve just made a blanket statement to say, all of these are shot, and I’m just not this and now you’re labeling, which is a terrible trap to get into. We create these neuro pathways in our brain to where it’s almost like a wagon going in a muddy trail. It just creates a deeper and deeper rut but, that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s true. It just means we’re stuck in that rut. Basically, if we can practice objectivity in saying each door is a new door, each opportunity each, each pass is a new pass. Each shot is a new opportunity to go in. So like I can’t make these shots. Um, so caution not to fall into this trap because, to practice power of first impressions and every opportunity, to eliminate this blanket statements of I’m a nobody, no one likes me, ect. Those kind of language patterns can be a very big trap. And so, be super intentional with your work choice or else you’re gonna, you’re just shooting yourself in the foot and it’s not, it’s not good.
Focus
Number four is focus. I believe emotional resilient people have an extreme ability to focus hard. Emotional resilience is this kind of proactive thought, meaning I’m cognitively thinking, meaning, thinking about thinking. And when I can think about thinking, meaning I’m aware and focused on what I’m doing instead of multitasking, instead of kind of just like I don’t, oh, wait and 20 minutes later, you’re like, I just spent 20 minutes on Instagram and I totally didn’t realize, you know, that that ability to just let time pass you by let opportunities pass you by because of your inability to be present and focused is a, is a key component to failure. So, when you have the ability to visualize your future walk through positive solution, step by step, it’s this mental rehearsal. You get to decide where your mind takes you and how disciplined you are. Emotionally resilient people, if you think about it, they have this ability to put boundaries around them to not get sucked into the notification world or the numbing out world, or the everyone saying I got a minute. For the last five years I have set my phone on silent. You won’t ever hear my phone ring. I don’t want to get sucked into the numbing effects a phone and apps can have and the distraction it brings. I want to focus on the work I have planned for that day.ย
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